Chapter 4 Off to Where it All Begin

"Hey, Emily," Susan nudged me playfully. "Maybe you'll find love in Bayrow! Maybe that's where all the good guys are these days; they certainly aren't here!"

Of course, this brought about a conversation centered on all the bad dates that everyone had been on recently, which was just another chat I couldn't get involved in. When I first moved to the city with a broken heart, I had tried to get out there and to find someone new, but it quickly became clear that I was a lost cause, so I had given up. I stopped going on dates, but the thought of restarting that in Arrendale was even more horrifying than doing it in New York.

At least in New York I could remain anonymous; in Arrendale, most people would remember me, and the ones that didn't would know my name soon enough. It was a fishing village where most people were born and didn't leave. Maybe that would have been me if things had been different, but of course, I'd moved away without any intention of coming back.

The emotion suddenly became too much for me and I needed a moment alone, so I stood up sharply and made my way to the bathroom, hoping to be able to get a break, but before I could get there, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Oh, I'm..." I started, but as I spotted my boss Frank standing in front of me, I allowed the façade to slide just a little bit. He was the only one who knew the truth about why I was leaving, so I no longer needed to act like everything was okay.

When I got the news that my mother was sick and I made the decision to go and be with her, despite the fact that she was returning to the place where I thought I would never end up again, I had to tell him. Frank was an amazing and understanding man, so I knew he would be a good listening ear, but it was more than that. I felt like I owed him the truth about why I was turning my back on such an amazing job.

"Can you come into my office for a second?" he asked with concern in his eyes. "I just want a little word before you leave us forever."

I followed closely behind him, glad to be able to have a moment alone to say goodbye to him, even if it did mean that I would have to delve into the emotions I was doing my best to keep at bay.

I sat in the seat on the other side of Frank's desk, like I had done a million times before, knowing it was going to be my last time.

"I just want to check how you are," he started inquisitively, giving me a look that suggested he wanted to see deep into my soul to work out what the hell was going on with me. Well, he would have a job with that one; I wasn't even sure myself. "And to see what's going on with your mom."

"Well, we don't know any more than last time. She's just about to see a new doctor, so I'm sure she'll have more information for me soon." I sighed sadly, allowing my head to fall a little bit. "But I'm sure it'll all be fine... After all, she's put up with me for twenty-eight years. She won't let a little bit of cancer defeat her."

I sent Frank a weak smile, but he clearly wasn't falling for it. "Okay, just know that I'm always here for you if you want to talk, and that there will always be a job for you here if you need it."

"Thank you," I replied appreciatively, leaning forward in my seat. "I do appreciate everything you've done for me and that's great and lovely of you to say." I didn't know how much of it was the truth, but it was nice to hear all the same. It made me feel an internal sense of gratitude, especially when I thought of how it could have turned out when I came to the city.

I could have ended up jobless, homeless, and having to return there with my tail between my legs. At least now things were different. I was successful, stronger, and over it all. I could go back now with my head held high and my heart intact.

He could have gone by now, anyway. I had purposely not learned anything about his life, so he could have been anywhere else in the damn world. I just had to hope that he was because if I saw him again, I might end up reverting to the young girl I was all those years ago.

"How is it going to be back in your home town?" Frank asked curiously. "Will it be good or really weird?"

I pushed my chair back and stood up, ready to leave. This was not a conversation that I felt comfortable having, but I also didn't want to blow Frank off, either, not when he was being so caring. After a moment of silence, I replied, instantly noticing a coldness to my tone.

"Some places are better left a memory."

And Arrendale, Bayrow was one of those places, but I was going to have to push that aside for now for my mother's sake. Some things were more important than some stupid, ancient history that no longer affected me.

At one point, it had bothered me for every damn second of every day, but that time of my life was over. Now I knew I could tackle it. Sure, it was going to be a little difficult going in, but as soon as that initial awfulness was over, everything would be okay.

"Well, I guess I'll see you soon," I smiled at him. "Or... Well, I'll speak to you soon, anyway."

With that statement, I walked out of his office to say goodbye to everyone else. The time had come to leave my colleagues behind and to bid farewell to my office, too...and I knew that was going to be the most difficult goodbye of them all.