Chapter 8 I am the problem

My fist had hardly brushed Jay's temple and before I knew it he had made a move at my legs and I hit the floor with a thump. I close my eyes for a bit and try to regain myself. We had been training all day and the heat was slowly getting to my head. When I open my eyes, Jay's outstretched hand blocks the sun.

"Get up", he says.

"For the 15th time in a row, without a break?", I snap.

Jay takes down his hand and squints his eyes at me. Then he holds up 5 fingers and walks away. This can't be the same man that went down on me yesterday.

"What are we, Jay?"

He turns to me at my sudden question and raises an eyebrow.

"Members of the same pack of course", he replies almost as fast as he turns to me and continues walking towards a nearby tree. I ran up to him and blocked his path. He tries going around me but I don't give him a chance. I grab both of his hands

"I said, what are we?", I repeat and place his hands on my hips. I slowly guide his hands up me to where my boobs are. If I want to see the same man yesterday, I'm gonna have to force it out of him.

"Your 5 minutes break will be over soon-", his voice breaks off as I dip his fingers underneath the bottom seam of my sports bra. All the while, I haven't broken eye contact with him. When his fingers slightly graze my boobs, he lost it. He pulls the sports bra over my head and lays me down. He places his mouth on my nipple and sucks it with all his strength and uses his other hand to squeeze and play with the other boob. I hold his head the whole time, pushing it down like I want his tongue to enter me. Wave after wave of pleasure came over me, I dig my fingers into the earth and grab it every time Jay sucked.

"Jay-", I managed to gasp."What about training?"

He raises his mouth from my nipple."10 minutes more".

He pulls down my leggings as well as my panties. Then he pulls down his jeans. For once, I feast my eyes on his massive penis. Before he reaches out for his condom, I place my hands on it, then wrap my fingers around it's full length. I rub it up and down and use my other hand to play with his balls.

"Faster", Jay demands in a weak voice as he kneels before me. I obeyed and did it faster till he came all over me. He lets out a sigh of relief. I tilt his chin upwards so he can see how hard I'm biting my lip.

"That's what you do to me, you know", I say and rub my vagina, trying to come for him. Jay lays me down and spreads my legs apart. He uses his fingers to separate my vulva lips.

"Say you want it"

"I want it", I gasp getting wetter by the second.

He fingers me with his index.

"Say it again", he says as he works his finger in and out of me faster.

"I want you", I say. Jay places his other hand on my neck and squeezes while he places his middle finger along with his index inside me.

"Say it again", he whispers, working his fingers in and out of me again.

"I want you"

"Now where do you want it?", he asks and squeezes my neck even harder

"In my ass", I sputter, out of breath.

Jay grabs his jeans and brings out the same tub of Vaseline he used on me yesterday. I go on all fours, waiting for him.

"Are you guys done?".

Lizzy stands not too far away with her arms crossed and an exasperated look on her face. We were caught. But why do I feel so guilty? Jay struggles to hide his penis but Lizzy rolls her eyes.

"That isn't anything I haven't seen before", Lizzy says.

Does that mean that she has had sex with Jay?

"We have our first attack in 2 days and Camilla won't be coming with us. Jay, as one of our strongest, I expect you to concentrate not fuck Camilla!"

"You act like you're any better!", Jay spits back.

"Because I am", Lizzy replies with eyes wide with anger." I am better and you know it".With that she storms out, disappearing behind the trees and bushes.

"She's just jealous", I say when she's out of sight.

"Did you have sex with her?", Jay asks, visibly hurt. He backs away from me like I'm a monster.

"Yeah. Is there a-"

"Let's get back to training", Jay says not even bothering to look me in the eye as he puts on his clothes. He heads back to where we were training but this time he carries fighting gloves.

Feeling embarrassed, I put on my sports bra wondering why he felt so hurt and why we stopped having sex. As we train, I notice that his punches are more aggressive and more personal. He aims for delicate places where he knows I can't handle a hit. Any form of eye contact he makes with me is cold and deceitful. He successfully strikes my upper torso after all my dodging. It hurts so bad.

"What is wrong with you?", I ask after holding my frustration in for so long."You almost hit one of my boobs!"

"If they attack, they won't care where to hit!"

"That's why you should leave that aspect for when I practice with Lizzy!"

I hadn't thought about my words before I said them, knowing it would only make matters worse but it's too late.

"So you can have sex again?", Jay says, his face red with anger. I see a vein throbbing as he looks at me like I'm a different person. I almost retreat and let him win but I've been that type of girl too long

"Why does it bother you so much?", I ask, genuinely curious as to why he felt he owned me. I crossed my arms and waited for an answer.

"Because-", Jay begins. He struggles to continue talking, it is as if he stopped himself from talking so he wouldn't expose something. He tears the fighting gloves away from his hands, almost hurting himself.

"That's enough training for today", he says with a calmer voice and walks out on me.

All of a sudden, I feel I'm the problem. I AM the problem. Maybe if I hadn't walked through that damn alleyway, none of this would've happened.