Chapter 5 A strange encounter

I sat there with my phone in my hands staring at Paul's number, reluctant to dial it. It wasn't because I felt guilty for what I had done but rather what I was going to say to him – "uhm Paul, I know this might upset you but I am pregnant for your son and currently in St. Peter's hospital, can you please be a darling and come pick me up?"- just listen to that, I mean I see no difference between this and a death request. There was no one else I could turn to. My grandfather had been my only family until I got married to Paul , who- by the way- denied me my social life.

I had no friends, no family, nothing. I sat there with my mouth open as I cried but failed to vocalize a single sound, only tears ran down my cheeks .

As my eyes were closed, the next words I heard were " whatever it is, it will pass...God is in control", while being hugged simultaneously. I didn't even bother to look at the person hugging me. I just held on tight and cried my heart out as loudly as I possibly could. "shh , it's okay, everything is going to be okay". These were the words they constantly kept telling me. I finally let go, after crying for a good three minutes, to see who the person was. I looked up and saw a beautiful light skinned woman smiling down at me. I shifted a bit, prompting her to sit beside me. "Wanna talk about it?", she asked. I was mute. "Just on case you change your mind, here is my card", she said handing me her card. Then she held my hand and said, "You will be okay", and left. After a short while the doctor came in with my discharge papers. I pleaded with him to stay the night to which he agreed. I tried to sleep but failed. All I could think of was what Jay said to me before he left. It felt like a nightmare, except this particular one was real...it was my life.

During the early hours of the next morning I decided to go home and face the consequences of my actions as I pulled out my phone to call Paul. I called him -the first time, the second time, the third time- no answer. Scared and unwilling, I called Jay and it went straight to voicemail. As I prepared to call him the second time, he walked in. "Get your things let's go", he said. I didn't know whether I should have been confused or angry. "What?", I asked looking at him with an expression of anger mixed with disgust. "If you think you can just..." I was saying when he silenced me by saying, "my father is dead". " My husband?", I asked. "That's hypocritical of you, don't you think?", he said. I was so infuriated I took my things and stormed out. He met me in his car and drove us home. It was a long and silent ride home. As I looked out the window, all I could think of was the fun times we had on this car. He caught me smiling as he asked, "Are you seriously smiling right now?", while keeping his eyes on the road. That question felt like gravity pulling me back to reality- the reality that Paul is dead. "What happened to him?", I asked as soon as we got home. Jay went on to tell me that his erectile dysfunction was as a result of prostate cancer which was discovered at a very late stage and this prompted immediate surgery. "He bled to death during his surgery", he added. I didn't even know how to feel or react. I just stood there like a child who still doesn't understand a math equation that has been explained to her three times already. "Just go and get some rest, we will deal with this tomorrow", he said and walked off. I left trying to wrap my head around these two facts- Paul is dead, Jay is talking to me.