Chapter 3 The End

I woke up the next morning completely ignorant of where I was. All the I could think of was what happened the previous night. I checked my phone and noticed that Jay had sent me a message. "You were surprisingly loud for someone who hardly raises her voice in this house", he said. I felt so embarrassed I didn't know how to respond . "How did I end up in my room" , I texted as I noticed I wasn't in his room anymore. "What?, you don't think I'm strong enough to carry you?, you have seen me lift weights, haven't you?" he texted back.

Overcome with blush, I left him on read and got off the bed to go make breakfast. I saw Jay in the passage and he walked past me like I was invisible. I frowned and turned to look at him with an expression of confusion on my face. " What on earth?", I asked myself. I made my way to the kitchen and started making breakfast. Shortly after, Jay walked in and greeted me normally as if he did not just take me to cumtown the previous night. I looked at him puzzled and said, "wait, wait, wait, am I missing something here?". "What are u talking about?" , he asked. "What am I talking about?...what do you mean what am I talking about?", I replied. "I don't really see..." he was still saying when I interrupted him by yelling, "I'm talking about last night!" ."Oh, that, I don't see what the problem is"... " you have always wanted me to do that right?", he said as he sipped his coffee and walked out. After that morning I tried to avoid him as much as I could. I wouldn't go to any part of the house where he was and I left all his texts on read. I was thought he was going to get the message but boy was I wrong. This guy can't take a hint. He came to my room and asked me what he did that made me avoid him. I stayed mute. He went on to explain to me how we could never be a thing because well, as we all know, I am basically his stepmother. He proceeded to pull me closer to himself and said, " that doesn't mean we have to stop." I could relate to how Kiana Ledé felt when she wrote the song "wicked games" as I gave in despite knowing how wrong it was. After that encounter, our "meetings" became a regular thing. He would avail himself to me whenever I needed him as I would whenever he needed me. Sometimes it was scheduled and other time I would find myself being guided by his hands on my hips to match his preferred pace as we listened to "under the influence" by Chris Brown, in his car. This continued for months and I was happy. I felt no guilt whatsoever for cheating on Paul with his own son. The heavens and the earth knows I have never considered Paul as my husband. The sex was not the only reason why I was happy with Jay. It was also the little things like his interests in my interests, asking me for my opinions about certain things and encouraging me not to give up on my dreams. With him, I felt heard, like I mattered. These are the things he did that made me fall for him harder and harder. The sex was just like the cherry on top. Neither one of us said the three syllable word each other but I desperately wished it was so and was just a matter of time until he says it. This evening I checked his Instagram and my chest feels sore. " Forever in this life and the next". This is how he captioned a post of a woman with a ring on her finger. I felt so stupid for feeling devastated. I mean I knew he had woman but I guess I was too naive to acknowledge that fact. Then I had an epiphany. "what am I doing with my life?"... "I was tricked into a marriage I did not want, the man I love is engaged to someone else and I have no career".

Now I sit on the floor beside my bed with a cup full of bleach in my hand. Should I do it?