Chapter 4 Cost of Quiet Nights

The nights with Cassian blurred into each other-intense, cold, controlled. He touched me like I belonged to him, but never kissed me. Never looked into my eyes longer than necessary. And when it was over, he left like a ghost, no words, no warmth.

Tonight was different-only slightly.

Because after he stood, dressed, and turned for the door, he paused.

"You'll receive a deposit by morning," he said flatly.

I sat up in bed, pulling the sheet around my chest. "Why?"

"You've fulfilled your end of the arrangement this week."

"That sounds like a business transaction."

He turned, his expression unreadable. "That's exactly what it is."

Then he walked out.

By morning, my phone buzzed with a bank notification.

€12,000

I stared at the screen for a long time. I had never seen that many zeros in my life. It didn't feel real-like someone had dropped a fortune on me and vanished.

But it was real. This was the cost of silence, of giving someone your body and keeping your heart out of the equation.

And part of me hated how easily it felt... transactional.

---

Cassian didn't stay long after breakfast.

"I'll be gone for three days," he said, buttoning up his charcoal gray shirt. He looked sharper than usual-more dangerous. His cufflinks were shaped like daggers.

"Business?" I asked casually.

His eyes lifted to mine. "Something like that."

I knew better than to push. But I was curious. There were whispers about his world-about money moved in shadows, power bought with blood. Mafia ties, family debts, things that didn't make it to the news.

He gave me the usual cold warning before leaving. "Don't wander into the east wing. Don't invite anyone without permission. And don't forget the rules."

"I don't."

He looked at me then, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face. "You asked for one hour of freedom a day. Don't misuse it."

Then he turned to leave.

Just before he reached the door, I spoke. "Can Jenny come by for a few hours? I haven't seen her since I moved in."

He didn't answer right away. Then finally, he said without looking back, "Fine. Have her leave before nightfall."

---

Jenny showed up by noon.

And the moment I opened the door, she burst in with wide eyes and a gasp. "Oh my God, Bella. This place looks like a presidential palace. You live here?"

"Temporarily."

"You sleep here?" she asked, touching the polished marble.

"I exist here," I muttered.

She turned to me, her smile fading slightly. "You okay?"

"I'm breathing."

Jenny followed me through the hallway to the garden. It was quiet out there, private. We sat beneath the old tree-the one place I allowed myself to feel human again.

"So," she asked gently. "How's the arrangement?"

I hesitated. "Cold. Distant. But... not cruel."

"That's saying something."

"I mean, he's not what I expected. He's not charming. He's not gentle. He doesn't pretend. He just... takes what he wants and vanishes."

Jenny blinked. "And you're okay with that?"

"I don't think I am. But I'm surviving."

She studied me, then reached out. "You know you can always change your mind, right? Nothing is worth losing yourself."

"I'm already too far in."

Then I told her everything-about the rules, the money, the way he barely looked at me after we were done. I didn't leave anything out. I needed someone to hold the weight with me.

Her jaw dropped when I told her about the €12,000

"Jesus, Bella. You could buy a whole apartment."

"I'm paying off rent, Mateo's school fees, and getting mom's headstone replaced first."

Jenny softened. "That's why you're doing this. That's why I'm scared for you."

---

After Jenny left, I asked Cassian's driver for a ride to see Mateo. He hesitated but confirmed I had been granted permission.

Mateo was at school when I arrived. I waited outside the gate, leaning against a tree until I saw him walk out, his backpack slung low, his face tired. When he spotted me, he froze.

Then ran.

"Bella!"

I hugged him tight. "You're taller. When did that happen?"

He smiled, but his eyes were wary. "You look... different. Expensive."

I laughed nervously. "It's part of the new job."

He looked up at me. "What kind of job?"

"I told you. Private client. Cooking. Cleaning. Helping with home management."

He didn't answer right away. Just stared at me a little too long.

Then he said, "You transferred school fees this morning. Full amount. And extra."

"I did."

"From the new job?"

"Yes."

He didn't ask anything more. Just nodded slowly. "Thanks."

But the look in his eyes said what his mouth didn't-he didn't fully believe me. And maybe he was too afraid to ask the real questions.

---

That evening, I sat alone in the kitchen of the estate.

It was quiet. Too quiet. I missed noise, I missed chaos, I missed being known.

So I cooked.

Simple things. Jollof rice. Spiced chicken. Fried plantain. It made the house smell like comfort instead of tension.

Afterward, I curled up on the kitchen stool and FaceTimed Jenny.

She answered in a bonnet and oversized T-shirt. "Wow. You look like a housewife."

I smiled tiredly. "Just cooked. Had to feel like myself for a second."

"You okay?"

"I don't know."

"You sound off."

"I saw Mateo today. He didn't say much. But he knows."

Jenny's eyes softened. "You're doing this for him."

"But what about me?"

There was a long silence.

"Do you think I'm making a mistake?" I asked quietly.

"I think..." She hesitated. "I think surviving shouldn't cost you your soul."

I swallowed hard.

Then I whispered, "What if I'm already selling pieces of it every time I lay in his bed?"

"Then stop before you run out of pieces."

I nodded. "I'll think about it."

We said goodnight.

I wandered to the garden bench. Watched the stars for a while. Then curled on my side and drifted into sleep, the scent of food still on my hands and the echo of Jenny's voice in my head.