I arrive almost completely out of breath and panicked. I lock the door and check the windows, barely having the strength to sit on the edge of the bed. I'm shaking and sweating, holding the phone in my hands. Every sound around me only fuels the panic that's beginning to take over me. My thoughts are relentless, and they won't let me rest. Every shadow in the apartment seems more threatening, and even the sound of people walking down the street makes me jump. To make matters worse, Samia's phone just goes to voicemail.
I try to take deep breaths, forcing myself to calm down, but the panic only grows. Each breath feels harder to take. When Samia finally picks up, my voice is barely a whisper, but full of fear.
"Samia, where did you send me? The alpha... he knew everything. He knows where I live, he knows everything, even the perfume you gave me... what the hell?" I pause, trying to take a deep breath, but the words come out rushed. "I knew this was going to be a problem eventually! What the hell! Say something!" I shout.
"Alina, calm down. I'm trying to process all this. Oh, shit. I thought everything was fine, that you were safe. I didn't know he already knew about you, that... it wasn't supposed to happen this way. But listen, you need to calm down. If my father finds out about this deal, my life will be on the line too. I'll come and talk to you. Just stay calm, please." Samia's voice is full of concern.
"No! Don't come! No, Samia... we'll talk tomorrow, please. I... I don't want you to come here." My voice cracks, anxiety suffocating me. "I... I don't know what to do... he's going to do something to me, I don't know what... I... I'm getting sick. I can't breathe." I say, scratching the back of my neck.
Samia tries to calm me, but I feel like we're beyond help.
"Alina, breathe. I know it's hard, but you have to calm down. I'll help you, just... don't freak out, okay? Don't do anything that could put you in more danger."
"I don't know if I can... my heart's racing... there's this pressure in my chest..." I say, holding the phone to my ear, my heartbeat so fast I can feel it. My breathing becomes more erratic, and I begin to feel the symptoms intensifying. The pain in my chest is nearly unbearable... I need help, but... what's happening to me?
I break out in cold sweat and start to squirm on the floor. There's a crushing weight on my chest, maybe my anxiety medication isn't working anymore. It feels like something is stirring inside me. I shudder at the thought of being caught and locked away again in that place where time seemed to stand still, where I could barely hold a spoon.
It's an uncomfortable feeling I don't understand, but it's growing stronger with each passing second. I need to control it before it consumes me.
I feel like something inside me is about to break free. The suffocating feeling and the pounding heart continue to escalate, so I rush to the bathroom and immediately take my anxiety medication.
As I wait for the effects of the medication to kick in, I sit on the floor, trying to regain control. But the unease and the heaviness in my chest don't go away. The phone in my hand shakes slightly, and the call with Samia is still ongoing.
With a shaky, almost inaudible voice, I say:
"Samia... help me, please. I don't know what's happening to me. I feel like... like something's trying to get out of me," I breathe out.
"Alina, what are you talking about? Stay calm... please... I'll help you. Just don't do anything reckless. I know this is a terrifying situation, but we'll get through it." She says, sounding genuinely worried. "Unfortunately, I can't come to you now, you know how my father is, but I'll see you tomorrow at the company."
Before I can respond, the pressure in my chest begins to ease a little. Thank God the medicine is working, and I release a sigh of relief. But at the same time, I feel like something has changed inside me, and this new fear is deeper and more mysterious than anything I could have imagined.
The feeling of relief is short-lived. Even though the medication is helping, I can feel that something much more complex and terrifying is beginning to take shape within me. Every passing second brings a sense that something inside me is about to break through, something I can't control.
I try to stay calm, but the anxiety is overwhelming. It's like my whole body is reacting to something that's deep inside me. I never asked for this, never wanted to be part of whatever it is that's happening to me, and yet here I am, helpless.
My head is spinning, and it feels as if the walls are closing in on me. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to find some peace in the midst of all this chaos, but the pressure in my chest only intensifies. It's as though my heart is beating faster, harder, as if it's trying to break free of my ribcage.
The sound of my own breath, shallow and quick, fills the room, and I can't focus on anything except the constant tightness in my chest. It's suffocating. I try to remember everything Samia said about staying calm, but it's hard to focus with the whirlwind of fear clouding my mind.
I think back to what she said: if my father finds out, her life will be in danger too. That makes me feel even worse. I don't want Samia to get hurt because of me. I don't want anyone to be hurt because of me. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm being pulled into something I don't understand.
I stand up, pacing the small room, desperate for relief. I look around, but nothing seems to comfort me. The apartment feels cold, empty, and I feel trapped inside it, even though I'm supposed to be safe here. My fingers tremble as I grip the phone, staring at the screen for any new message from Samia, but there's nothing.
I take another deep breath, trying to push through the panic that's threatening to swallow me whole. I need to pull myself together, but the fear is so overwhelming. It's like I'm fighting an invisible enemy, one I can't see, one I can't fight off.
I sit back down on the bed, wrapping my arms around my knees, trying to ground myself. But the thoughts keep coming. The feeling of dread, of something terrible about to happen, lingers in the back of my mind.
Suddenly, my phone vibrates. My heart skips a beat as I look at the screen, hoping it's Samia. It's a message from an unknown number.
I take a deep breath before opening it. I know it might be nothing, but I also know it could be something that changes everything. As I read the message, a cold chill runs down my spine.