Chapter 1 Saints and Sinners Before

My body healed. The cuts scabbed over and the bruises faded. To anyone who looked at me, I was just my normal cheery self.

I was Keeley. The sweet one, the innocent one. But I wasn't any of those things anymore. I was broken, and inside I was screaming. Sweet and innocent? Those were words that might have described me once, but they didn't anymore.

Not since my cousin's friend, a man Monster and I had both trusted with our lives, had forced himself into my body and left me hollowed out. There was nothing but darkness inside of me now. And day by day it was eating me up.

My name might still be Keeley. I might have the same blonde hair and darling smile that people always thought about when my name was mentioned. But I wasn't the same woman. I wasn't even sure I was a woman anymore. I didn't feel like one.

And that's why I had to leave.

I knew that thousands, if not millions, of other women had gone through what I had. Hell, even some of the member's old ladies of my cousin's motorcycle club had been through something similar, but they had been ok with being saved. They had their men to lean on.

I had no one. And I sure as hell didn't want to be saved. Sure, the club would want to look after me, just like they always had, but that hadn't exactly worked out well for me in the past.

So, leaving was my only option.

And maybe when I was gone from the town that held so many horrific memories for me, I could start to heal. I might even start to work out who the hell I was again.

My pen scraped against the piece of paper. The lines of the words were jerky, the ink splashed with my tears. Monster would never forgive me for saying goodbye like this. But he had his own family now - a wife, and a baby on the way. He didn't need a grown cousin dragging him backwards.

Monster, I am sorry...

Yeah, they wouldn't agree with me leaving like a thief in the night. But I needed to go for my own sanity.

The Keeley I used to be was gone, and I needed to find out who I was now.

Because sweet and innocent didn't cover it anymore.