Chapter 5 Drowning in the Past

Kimberly sat on the couch, wrapped in the same blanket she had cocooned herself in for days. The apartment was in such a mess empty takeout containers, half empty wine bottles, clothes scattered across the floor. The air smelled stale, a mix of forgotten food and the perfume she had worn on her wedding day. She had not bothered to wash it out of her favorite dress, as if holding onto the scent could somehow keep her past alive.

Her phone buzzed on the coffee table. She did not yet reach for it. She already knew who it was Samantha, again. The calls had become a daily routine, just like the texts filled with check-ins, encouragement, and gentle pushes for her to step outside, to eat something real, to talk. But Kimberly ignored them all. What was there to say? That she was drowning in memories she couldn't escape? That no matter how much she tried to push Mason out of her head, he haunted her?

Her eyes drifted to the wedding invitation still sitting on the dining table. The words blurred as fresh tears welled up. Kimberly Evans & Mason Carter cordially invite you to their wedding... She let out a choked laugh, bitter and empty. Some wedding.

She grabbed the invitation, her fingers tightening around the delicate paper. Images of that day flashed in her mind all over again. The way she had stood in the bridal suite, breathless with excitement, smoothing the lace of her gown. The way her heart had pounded in anticipation. The way the doors had opened to the aisle lined with roses, leading her to a man who had taken it upon himself not to even shown up.

She ripped the invitation in half. Then again. And again. Until all that remained were tiny pieces scattered across the table, as broken as she felt.

The wine bottle on the table called to her. She reached for it, pouring another glass, ignoring how her hands trembled. Maybe if she drank enough, the memories would blur, maybe it will reduces the pain. Maybe she could forget how much it still hurt. She brought the glass to her lips, the bitter taste burning her throat, but it wasn't enough. It never was.

The TV played in the background, some mindless romantic movie she hadn't bothered to turn off. The laughter of the characters made her stomach turn. She used to love movies like these, she used to believe in love like that. But now, every love story felt like a lie, every happy ending a cruel joke, and a trap.

Her fingers hovered over her phone. Against her better judgment, she opened Mason's contact. The last message he had sent her still sat there, untouched.

I'm sorry, Kim.

That was it. That was all he had given her after years together. After promises and whispered dreams and plans for a life they would build together. Sorry. As if that word could possibly undo all the damage, all the hurt, all the bitterness, all the tears. As if it could heal the wound he had carved into her soul. The thought of it made her let out a scream as she cried out

Before she could stop herself, she started typing. Why? Her fingers trembled over the screen. Why wasn't I enough for him?

She stared at the words for a long time, her thumb hovering over the send button. But she knew the answer already, didn't she? If Mason had cared enough to explain, he would have done it by now. If he had truly loved her, he would not have left her standing there, humiliated and broken.

With a shaking breath, she deleted the message and tossed her phone onto the couch. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing really did.

The knock at the door was distant at first, but it grew louder, more insistent. Kimberly groaned, burying her face in the pillow, willing whoever it was to go away. But the knocking didn't stop.

"Kim! I swear, if you don't open this door, I'm breaking in!" Samantha's voice was sharp, cutting through the haze of Kimberly's self-imposed isolation.

She didn't move. Maybe if she stayed quiet, Samantha would give up. Maybe she could be left alone to drown in her misery just a little longer.

But Samantha had never been one to give up easily. A moment later, the spare key turned in the lock, and the door swung open. The sudden brightness from the hallway made Kimberly wince.

"Oh my God," Samantha breathed as she took in the sight before her. Her best friend who was once so full of life, so put-together was now a hollow shell, lost in the wreckage of what should have been her happiest day.

Samantha's gaze swept over the apartment the untouched food, the mess, the empty bottles. Then, her eyes landed on Kimberly, curled up on the couch, her face streaked with dried tears, her fingers still clutching a wine glass like a lifeline.

Without a word, Samantha marched over and snatched the glass from her hand, setting it down with a firm clink. "Enough," she said, her voice softer than her actions. "This isn't you, Kim, you can't keep doing this to yourself, it kills me to see you like this."

Kimberly let out a humorless laugh. "I don't even know who I am anymore, I just feel empty."

Samantha sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You're still you, and you can't be empty" she whispered. "You're just... lost. And that's okay. But you can't keep doing this. You can't let him completely ruin you."

Kimberly wanted to argue, to say that she wasn't letting Mason ruin her that she was just surviving, barely. But was not that the same thing? Have not she already let him take everything?

She swallowed hard, her voice breaking. "I don't know how to move on."

Samantha squeezed her tighter. "Then let me help you. One step at a time."

For the first time in weeks, Kimberly felt something other than numbness. It wasn't hope, not yet. But maybe, just maybe, it was the beginning of something else.