Chapter 4 Confused

Luke's apartment was exactly what I'd imagined, modern, sleek, and so undeniably him. It was the kind of place that screamed confidence and control down to the expensive leather couch I was sitting on.

I shouldn't have come here. What was I thinking? This wasn't me-this wasn't what I did. But, damn it, Amari, you're already here. Might as well see it through.

Luke handed me a glass, his fingers brushing mine for the briefest second before he settled beside me. The space between us felt too small. Even the air seems suffocating.

"So..." he said, taking a casual sip of his drink, his voice smooth and easy. "What made the campus genius decide to party tonight?"

I shot him a look, trying to steady my nerves. "Tsh, don't call me that!"

His smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, not mocking but curious, amused. Like I was a puzzle he wanted to solve.

"Why not?" he asked, leaning back. "It's what everyone knows you as. The girl who's got it all figured out. Future attorney."

I scoffed, shifting in my seat and looking away. "Maybe I don't want to be that woman all the time."

There, I said it. I didn't even know if it was true, but the words spilled out anyway.

His gaze sharpened, his eyes holding mine for a moment before his voice softened.

"So, what do you want to be tonight?"

The question caught me off guard, my grip tightening on the glass in my hand.

"I don't know," I admitted, my voice quieter than I intended. "Just... someone else. Normal."

Normal. God, what a lie. There was nothing normal about this-about me sitting here, in his apartment, pretending I wasn't dying from my heartbeats.

His eyes softened, his expression unreadable as he leaned back, studying me. It made my chest tighten, the weight of his attention too much and yet not enough.

"I wonder why? You are pretty decent...and normal" he asked, his tone calm but with an edge that made my stomach twist.

"No, because in the first place, I am asking why you are talking to me..." I said, my voice defensive, though I hated how small I sounded.

Luke grinned, his confidence radiating off him as he sipped his drink. "Maybe I just find you interesting."

Interesting? My heart thumped so loudly I was sure he could hear it.

Damn it, get it together, Amari. Relax. Thanks to my natural resting bitch face, I managed to keep my expression neutral.

"You said I'm a smarty pants, right?" I shot back, hoping to deflect whatever's between us.

He raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. "Mmm, I like smarty pants though"

My eyes widened, heat rushing to my face as my heart thumped even harder. Did he just-

"I know that stares, you like me don't you?"

The words cut deeper than I expected, and I hated how they made me feel vulnerable and exposed.

"I...I...don't!" I said quickly, too quickly. "You can't add me to your list of ex-girlfriends, womanizer!"

His smirk returned, but this time, it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Ouch! Sure, you're not," he said while grinning.

What the hell was I doing here? Why was I letting him get under my skin like this? But no matter how much I told myself to leave, my feet refused to move.

And then there was Luke. Very calm, composed, and utterly unreadable. Like he was holding back just as much as I was, but for entirely different reasons.

What did he see in me? Did he see me? Or was I just another girl caught up in his fingertips, destined to be forgotten by morning?

Then, with a lazy grin, Luke broke it.

"You know, Amari, I might need some legal counsel."

I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep my composure. "I'm not a lawyer yet, Luke. And I won't give legal advice on you."

His smirk deepened, and he leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper.

"Hmm, well, you know, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to look this good and not be kissed."

I rolled my eyes, trying to fight the heat that threatened to rise in my chest.

"Nice try, but I'm not falling for that."

Liar! Very liar, Amari.

His grin didn't waver, the amusement in his eyes only growing.

"Come on, I'm just stating the facts. I'd say you're guilty of making me want to break all the rules."

I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head. "You're ridiculous."

He didn't stop, though. His eyes never left mine as he reached over, grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the table and pouring it into my glass.

"Come on, lawyer-girl. Take a drink. Even you have to admit, this is a case worth pursuing."

I hesitated, every part of me telling me to say no. I didn't want to get too drunk and I didn't want to lose control. But then again... something in me wanted to push past the boundaries I'd set for myself, wanted to feel what it was like to stop thinking for once.

I took the glass from him and downed it without a second thought. It burned as it slid down my throat, warming me in a way I hadn't expected.

"There," I said, my voice a little slurred. "Happy now?"

Luke's grin widened, and he refilled my glass.

"I like a girl who knows how to let go. But I think one more won't hurt, right?"

I didn't argue, handing him the empty glass. I wasn't thinking clearly anymore-just letting myself be swept along by his presence, his attention, the way he made me feel.

Thanks to my low alcohol tolerance, really.

The second drink hit me faster than the first, and suddenly, everything felt lighter. My heart racing a little faster, and my thoughts started to blur together. I wasn't thinking straight anymore.

Luke's gaze never wavered as he watched me darkly.

"I think I want more..." I whispered. Shutting my eyes.

"Shit, you have a low alcohol tolerance. It's enough-"

"What? What's wrong with you? I thought you wanted me to drink here!" I yelled.

"Amari..." he murmured, his voice lower, like a quiet warning. "You sure you want to do this?"

I didn't understand what he meant. All I knew was that he was so close, his scent intoxicating, his presence pulling me in. Without even thinking, I leaned forward, my lips brushing against his jawline.

His body froze.

My heart pounded in my chest, my breath shaky.

"Luke..." I whispered, my voice barely audible as I leaned in closer, my lips brushing against his neck, trying to find some kind of connection, something to ground me.

He grabbed my wrists gently but firmly, pulling my hands away from his skin. His touch was strong, but not painful-just enough to hold me in place.

"Amari," he said, his voice soft but carrying an undeniable edge of finality. "No."

I froze, confusion swirling in my foggy mind. "What? Why?" I could feel the haze of alcohol clouding my thoughts, but his words pierced through it.

"Because I'm not going to kiss you," he said quietly, his voice low, steady. "Not when you're not in control."

The truth of his words hit harder than I expected, and the frustration bubbled up inside me. My mind raced, but my body betrayed me, still desperate to close the distance between us. I leaned in again, my lips finding his neck once more, but his hands remained steady, keeping me at arm's length.

"You're drunk," he said, his voice calm, but firm.

I pulled back, blinking at him through hazy eyes, trying to process what he was saying.

"I... I'm not drunk. I know what I want. And it's you!"

My words were slurring, but I meant them. I wasn't thinking clearly, but I knew my feelings were real.

"No," he said again, shaking his head slightly, his gaze unwavering.

"Luke, I like you! What do you mean no?" I demanded, feeling the confusion clouding my thoughts even more. Why wasn't he letting this happen? Wasn't he feeling the same thing? Why did he invite me here anyway!

His words cut deeper than I expected.

"You're not my type, Amari," he said, his eyes now locking with mine, steady and unwavering.

What the hell? What do you mean I'm not your type? I was so confused, so hurt. I thought he liked me.

His words hit me harder than I wanted to admit. Somewhere, deep down, I knew he was right. I wasn't in control anymore, not of my actions, not of my emotions.

I stared at him, the tightness in my chest becoming unbearable. The sting of embarrassment burned hotter than anything else. What was I doing? What was I even expecting? Was I just making a fool of myself?

"Ah, yeah, what am I thinking?" I muttered bitterly, trying to cover the hurt with humor, though it didn't work. "I was just joking around. I know your type, big boobs, good butt, hourglass body, right? The model type. Someone you can just bed with?"

Luke's expression softened at my words, and I couldn't tell if it was pity or something else. But it didn't matter. I felt exposed, and vulnerable, like I had revealed too much of myself in front of him.

I let out a shaky breath, and the heat in my cheeks intensified, the embarrassment becoming suffocating.

"I think I should go."

He didn't stop me. His voice was soft, almost too gentle as I stood up. "Amari..."

But I couldn't stay, not like this. I had to leave before I did something I would regret.