Chapter 2

6

From that day on, I moved into the dormitory of the TV station and was occupied with a new project every day, trying to extricate myself from the desperate emotions.

My mother sent me a message, asking me to come home for dinner.

I got home late. Luna wasn't at home. Mom was sitting on the sofa. When she saw me come back, she slowly got up and said, "I'll heat up the dishes for you."

I smiled and said, "No need, Mom. I've already eaten. The director treated us to dinner tonight."

Mom nodded and put down the dish in her hand. "Let's have a chat," she said.

My heart pounded nervously, not knowing what she wanted to talk about.

As soon as I sat down, I clearly noticed the disappointment in her eyes.

Her voice was a bit chilly as she said, "Ava, are you still blaming me for giving the opportunity to study abroad to Luna back then?"

I was startled and said, "Mom, why did you bring this up all of a sudden? I'm not blaming you."

Mom sighed and said, "You're my daughter. How could I fail to notice? Ever since Luna came back, you haven't been in a good mood." There was a tinge of scolding in her tone.

"Today, Luna asked me if you were unhappy. Won't you put your sister in a difficult position by acting like this?"

My throat choked up and my eyes reddened for a moment. The grievance in my chest had nowhere to vent, so it just lingered there, causing a dull pain.

The dim yellow light in the living room shone on Mom's tired face.

She said, "When your father and I divorced, I brought you two sisters up on my own. I've endured countless hardships. Ava, as the elder sister, you have responsibilities."

Those words were like a final verdict in my life.

They haunted me like a nightmare.

Whenever I had to sacrifice something, Mom would say, "Ava, as the elder sister, you should set an example."

Tears couldn't help falling from my eyes.

Mom was a bit irritated and said, "You're old enough. There's no need to cry like this."

I stood up, swallowing back my tears and said, "I understand. I'll come home for dinner from now on."

"Good, that's how it should be." Mom was finally satisfied.

No one ever asked if I wanted to be the elder sister.

The word "sister" felt like a curse.

7

The director attached great importance to the new project, and I liked it very much as well.

After working two extra hours, I went back home.

Kevin and Luna went out and bought a big bag of mangoes to share with everyone.

When Luna saw me, she greeted me enthusiastically, "Ava, I bought a big bag of mangoes. Let's make mango shaved ice later."

Kevin gave me a long-unseen smile, just like in high school.

He said, "Luna loves mango shaved ice. When we were in Chonia, she wished she could eat it three times a day. Sometimes she ate so much that her stomach hurt, but she still craved it."

Luna stuck out her tongue and muttered in dissatisfaction, "Kevin, don't reveal my embarrassing stories."

I forced a wry smile.

He didn't remember that I was allergic to mangoes.

One night during the senior year's self-study session, I took a bite of my deskmate's mango and then had a full-body allergic reaction.

The teacher took me to the hospital for an injection, and Kevin waited downstairs at the girls' dormitory until I came back safely.

Only then did he let out a sigh of relief.

He said back then, "You mustn't touch mangoes ever again."

However, now he has bought a whole bag of mangoes and said that he wanted to make mango shaved ice, which is my sister's favorite.

8

Perhaps the wild emotions in my heart were playing tricks on me, and I really wanted to spoil the current atmosphere.

"I'm allergic to mangoes."

With just this one sentence, Kevin and Luna suddenly knitted their brows, looking at me with a mixture of complicated emotions.

Kevin seemed at a loss and stammered without being able to form a complete sentence.

Luna hurriedly apologized, "Ava, I... I forgot. I'm sorry, Ava."

Kevin was also flustered. He said, "Ava, we'll buy you something else. What would you like to eat?"

What a ridiculous question.

How ridiculous the word "we" was!

Kevin, you were supposed to be my boyfriend. Who were you referring to as "we" with her?

And my boyfriend asked me what I liked to eat. What was going on?

Since when did he change?

Was it him who changed, or was it me?

People's hearts were easily fickle.

9

I tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep. Then I picked up my phone and looked back on my chat records with Kevin.

When he first arrived in Chonia, he would share a lot of new and interesting things with me. "Went to Savanna Academy today. It's really big here. I want to pursue my postgraduate studies at Savanna Academy. Look! The sculptures of the gods! Haha, my sunglasses. Aren't they cool?

The cooking skills of the people here are so poor. I'm craving the dishes from my hometown."

Back then, Kevin could send me hundreds of messages every day.

Later, his messages were filled with traces of another person. "Lunar is so clueless. She didn't rent the apartment properly, so I helped her sort it out. Oh my! Luna's cooking is so awful. I almost got poisoned by it. Luna almost failed her class. She begged me to tutor her. Luna passed all her exams. What would she do without me?"

And then- "I'm so busy. Be good. Busy. I'll talk to you later. Busy."

I hid under the quilt, covering my mouth with my hand to hold back my sobs.

The pillow was soaked.

What could I do?

Kevin, I had loved you for six years, with the intention of getting married to you for six years. I had even thought of names for our children.

One was my own younger sister, who was so innocent and lovely, so ignorant of the ways of the world.

And what about me?

Was I waiting for the final judgment, or should I have taken the initiative to withdraw?