Chapter 5 5

The tears were unstoppable as I broke. He stood, watching with a torn expression as I collapsed on the ground, rocking back and forth on my knees as I cried to the moon with my forehead touching the ground.

I felt him sink to his knees quickly, reaching out for me. He felt the desolation, eyes pouring their saline solution as his arms grabbed me, holding me tight against his chest. Having him touch me didn't help, It was like waving something in my face that I'd never have.

The electric energy between us was so real and my wolf wanted out. She wanted to go ahead and mark him, take him as ours.

"I didn't know, Nova." He whimpered, sniveling just as much as me. We were both full-blown crying."I didn't know you'd be the one, or that I'd find my mate so soon. She was in her heat... I was weak.

My wolf took over. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His voice croaked with emotions as he continued to cry with me, wrapping his arms around my body tighter as we rocked together, his tears falling on my shirt.

I fought my wolf hard as she threatened to surge forth, crying out my pain for him to witness.

I believed him. He didn't want to be in this situation. He would have wanted me, he did want me.

The tingles from his touch were like nothing I have ever felt, but the pain in my heart won the battle for my attention.

"What are you going to do?" My voice cracked as I peered up at him through wet lashes, his face so close to mine.

"I have to do the right thing, Nova." Was all he said while gazing down at me with a brokeness about him and eyes of desperation.

What is the right thing? What could that possibly be?

A hand covered my mouth as my face scrunched up, a muffled sob made its way out despite my attempts and I ripped away from his hold, falling back onto the gravel driveway on my ass.

I collapsed, falling flat to the ground and rolled over, my forehead touching the small pieces of gravel while my chest was wracking with deep, powerful sobs. My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces with just one sentence and I was lying there broken.

His hand found my back, sending those currents through me. "I'm sorry. I wish... I wish I could go back. I don't want this, but there is nothing I can do, Nova. I'm so sorry." He cried to me shamelessly, soothing me with every stroke he gave me.

But it was too late for that.

"Just go to her." It was the last thing I said. His hand stilled on my back as if my words had shocked him to his core. He retreated slowly, watching me as I turned my head to see his tortured expression.

"Nova, I-"

"Just go," I whispered, closing my eyes while the pain coursed through me. I hurt far too much at that moment.

"I'm sorry." He whispered one last time before walking away from me as I lay there bleeding out internally from the broken heart I had just received. A mate bond is fragile when it hasn't been completed and right then and there, my wolf was ready to chase him down and claim him while I simply wanted to crawl into a hole and never wake up.

My mate.

My everything – starting his future with another female.

I broke out of my memory of that fateful night to Deacon snapping his fingers in my face. "Nova! Are you going to answer me?"

I tried to shake away the gut-wrenching feeling that pounded inside me as my stomach tensed.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was trying to remember. All he told me was that he was sorry, but he had to do the right thing, nothing more." The last word came out a whisper.

I was being torn apart from the inside out and I couldn't hold the feelings in, not for long.

Deacon turned his head toward the open water, anger and rage taking over.

"I'm going to kill him."

I couldn't blame my mate fully, except for the fact that he should have held out for me. A female's heat is something no male can withstand and that night I found my mate and had my heart broken all in the matter of a few minutes, he had informed me that the blonde she-wolf had been in her head. He couldn't control himself.

Deacon's sharp eyes came back to me, locking their hardened focus on my frail form. "You need to talk to him. Alone. Ask him his plans. It has to be you, Nova."

I felt the ache inside me radiate as my face contorted to sorrow. Shaking my head back and forth, a small cry came from my lips. "I can't. I can't face him, Deacon."

His hand grabbed mine. "Then we will together."

I peered up to see the determination in his eyes. He would walk through hell or highwater for his best friend, I would do the same for him, but this is something we can't do together.

That's not what I wanted. Deacon shouldn't hate his brother for something that he couldn't help and I didn't want to know my mate's plans. He would only break my heart even further. This was too much for a newly shifted wolf to handle. It was hard enough trying to control myself and keep from wolfing out when I felt extreme emotions.

Deacon held my hand tightly in his as I pulled back the tears. Loud voices echoed off the water and our heads jerked in the direction they came.

My mouth fell open the moment I noticed we had drifted to far and now we were staring straight into hundreds of pairs of eyes of wolves from the pack barbecue up on the shore.

We were sitting in the canoe in plain sight while the entire pack was looking out at the lake, at us.

But the only eyes I felt were the ones that I couldn't stop thinking about.

He was there, watching me. His burning gaze traveled down my body to where Deacon's hand held mine and I dropped it. Risking it, I peeked through the curtain my hair had made and saw my mate sitting there with his pregnant female, his jaw locked tight as his eyes narrowed.

Everyone knew Deacon and I were best friends, but this seemed a little too intimate for my liking. I knew what they were all thinking.

"We need to get out of here." Deacon held my gaze just as whispers and gasps echoed from the shore and carried out onto the water where we could hear the gossip already taking place.

"Let's go. Hurry, Deacon" I plead, shielding my face from their watchful eyes.

I could only imagine the gossip that would start up tomorrow. I didn't bother taking another look towards my mate. It was useless anyway and it would only hurt me to see him with blondie.

I could tell that he was angry by the look on his face. Well, he has no right. None at all