Chapter 5 Flashback

PANDU'S POV

It wasn't without reason that I accepted the arranged marriage that my parents proposed. Actually, they never forced me to accept it, the reason was more because I felt bad about them. Therefore, I said yes without any regrets at all.

At that time, I didn't know who my future wife would be, but after I found out that the woman who would accompany me for the rest of my life was still studying at high school, I felt scared and wondered whether it would be better to cancel the arranged marriage.

But I couldn't, I had already promised my mom and dad. When I accepted, I also saw the happy glow on their faces. Besides not being able to bear it, I felt that until now I hadn't been able to make them both happy.

Being an obedient and insubordinate child became one of the ways out that I could take. They never protested about the path I chose or the decisions I made.

The reason I was afraid of my candidate was because she was still studying. She's still too young, and I'm not sure if she wants to commit.

I don't know, maybe I'll try slowly. It's hard, but I can't just give up. Especially since I haven't talked to her yet. It would be cowardly of me to back out and decide to cancel this whole plan. Besides, where would I put my face in front of my parents?

Oh yes, I'd like to introduce myself first. Thinking about a problem that really wasn't that complicated made me forget that I hadn't mentioned my name yet.

From a young age, I was called Pandu by everyone. By the way, I'm 28 years old this year. Not very old, right? That's my opinion, but it's different with my parents, especially my mom. They say I'm more than old enough to get married and focus on committing to a woman. Without even being told, I already knew that.

But the thing is, five months ago I just broke up with Kat, and the reason why our relationship fell apart after five years of dating was because Kat found a man she thought was more suitable for her.

Funny? It is!

At the time, I couldn't define my feelings clearly. I was angry, sad, and furious, and I didn't expect that I would end up breaking up with her. Honestly, it was hard to accept this situation. Just imagine, Kat and I had been in a relationship for five years, and in that long time, our relationship stopped in just a matter of seconds. I swear, it's so funny.

We've been going out for years, spending time together, laughing and talking, being sad together, going through hardships, and finding solutions together. But it all ended over a 24-second phone call.

I really want to laugh when I remember that incident. I feel so weird. What exactly was our relationship for five years?

If you ask me whether or not I regret dating Kat, I'd say absolutely not. I really like her, besides being beautiful and polite, Kat is also not the typical girl who spoils me and demands that I do this or that. That's what makes me comfortable and want to stay with her. But Kat prefers someone else. I can't force her, it's her choice.

Although it's still hard to let her go. The next day after Kat told me that we couldn't continue, I went to her house. Luckily, I wasn't kicked out, I was told to come in and sit across from Kat on her soft sofa, which made me feel at home.

I had just gotten home from work from the hospital, and my body felt really tired. The bones in my body felt crushed. So I didn't want to mince words, I got to the point and asked Kat to explain everything.

And everything just flowed.

FLASHBACK ON.

With my body sticky with sweat, I continue to stare at the face of Kat, my girlfriend. Uh, sorry, she's now an ex. Okay, ex. I have to get used to that curse word.

Kat returned my gaze with her flat face. Our gazes locked. I waited for her to speak up and explain everything. I couldn't wait for her to open her mouth. But, two minutes later, Kat hasn't explained anything, making me sigh tiredly.

"Kat, I didn't ask you for anything weird." After I asked Kat to explain everything about why she dumped me, all I got was silence. I got impatient and finally spoke up. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down and control myself. Again, the look in my eyes was fixed on Kat's face. "I'm just asking you to explain everything, I'm not asking for anything more. I just need clarity on all of this," I continued. I didn't realize my voice sounded like a demand.

But that's not wrong, is it? Even without me asking, Kat should know that she has a responsibility to explain everything.

"I'm sorry," Kat said quietly as she looked down. I was still silent, my gaze unable to leave her face, until I heard a small sob.

What? I didn't hear it wrong, did I? Kat is crying?

"I'm sorry for disappointing you," Kat continued, not daring to look me in the face. Kat looked down and sobbed.

I hate women who cry, I'm weak when it comes to this one. I should be the one crying and begging her to keep this relationship going. Why should Kat be the one crying? It's weird, she broke up with me, but she's the one crying.

"I'll be more disappointed in you if you won't explain why you broke up with me, Kat."

"I..." Kat sobbed again, and I tried to remain patient. My eyes were closed as I controlled my breathing. "I cheated on you. I've been dating another man for a year. I'm sorry."

Oh shit!

I fell silent upon hearing Kat's words. At a loss for what to do, I just held my breath for a while as I leaned back on the sofa. My anger should be exploding right now, but I can't get angry. I don't know if it's because I'm tired from work or if I just can't get angry at Kat.

"Why?" Finally, only that one word escapes my lips. My eyes focus even more on Kat's beautiful face.

"Sorry ...."

I can only think of two reasons why Kat would betray me like that. First, the problem was a factor of my own. I was probably so busy working that I didn't have time for Kat and made her turn away. It's not impossible, actually, I was busy with my own business. But it wasn't my will. I was actually working for Kat too, for our wedding expenses. Five years of dating have certainly made us have a lot of desires that we want to achieve together. One of them is the wedding.

We don't see each other every day, Kat works too. If the reason is because she doesn't have time to see each other often, Kat should understand. We're both busy.

I don't know...

And the second reason. I might be boring enough to make Kat choose another man. But if she's bored, why didn't we break up years ago when we started dating? Why only now? Okay, maybe it's not entirely Kat's fault, she could have felt bad about breaking up because she felt guilty about my feelings.

Thinking about all this made my head feel like it was going to explode. I was obviously disappointed by Kat's account and confession.

In the end, I didn't know what to do. We've broken up, right? Well, then, it's all Kat's choice. Even though I still really love her, I have to let her go.

"Thank you, Kat, for being my friend for the past five years, I'm sorry if I haven't been able to make you happy and often disappointed you." I forced my smile to come out, then I got up from my seat. "I'll go home first, once again, I'm sorry."

Kat didn't reply to anything after I said that, actually, I was a little hopeful that Kat would prevent me from leaving, at least for a moment. But the second after that, I quickly realized that from now on I had to be able to control myself, so I went home from Kat's house with a lot of feelings.

FLASHBACK OFF.

Stop, I don't want to talk about Kat anymore. I need to move on from her. Honestly, I can't get Kat's face out of my head yet.

Back to the topic of mom and dad's plan to set me up with their best friend's daughter. It wasn't just me, I could already guess that the girl I was going to be set up with would disagree with this plan too.

I'm an adult, and I don't want to disappoint my parents at their age. I have to do a lot of filial piety for them.

Yes, I'll give it a try.