Chapter 3 THE BRITISH LODGE

Yes, everyone wants to have a regular girlfriend or boyfriend to date. There was that natural tendency, to long for attention and feel wanted by the person of the opposite sex. This is more so with someone whom you would want to spend your life with. No one has a monopoly on his or her emotions and that of the other person. Emotions and feelings could run so high when unchecked particularly under some prevailing circumstances. Everyone seemed to be falling in love and out of love. Such was the case with events at the lodge, the British Lodge.

Kelvin had noted how a fellow lodge mate was beginning to grow thin at an alarming rate that he decided to pry into the matter. He tried to get to the root of the matter by asking him. He had known him as a healthy boy full of life. He had attributed the sudden change in him to the usual economic imbalance. It is a general disease common to students. A good number had to struggle to feed well even as they have to sit up with their studies in college. This is not notwithstanding the dare cost of education in the country.

It was his roommate Iyke who in his usual jesting way threw to light what had been the matter with Onoo.

"Kelvin so much cared about Onoo that he wants to know what's the hell was wrong with him," He had a sarcastic smile that lighted his broad face and about him.

Iyke bent over the plastic bucket in which he had been doing his laundry. "Onoo, you're growing too thin these days please what's the matter?" he gave a mockery shout at Onoo.

The boy passed them by. They were about seven in number. They were sitting on the stepped pavements by the side of the main building. It was overlooking their own side of the apartment―a boys' quarter of six rooms next to the side of the main building.

Onoo ignored him and made straight for the 19th numbered room of the main building facing the boy's quarter. He climbed the stepped pavement and began to knock on the iron burglarproof in front of the balcony immediately after the room. That was the room apartment of Kolia and her roommate Sofia.

In the student lodge, a free flow of pidgin English and conventional English was an order of the day in their everyday communication.

"Onoo leave Kolia for God's sake and for your own good too!" Iyke added. It was an almost yell at Onoo.

"Iyke what's your business between the two?" It was Alaska's voice who feigned a righteous concern. Even at that, he was trying to put a check on the choking laughter he was struggling with.

"See you Alaska. I'm beginning to suspect you. You're a child of mischief," came Peter's voice. He reprimanded his friend Alaska for being inciting with his false pretense.

"Hey, you Peter-eem Mr. doggy-master. I didn't call you over," retorted Alaska still struggling with fits of laughter.

"I don't know whether we are going to worry over the two of these brats or over Iyke's ill comment on Onoo. Why wouldn't the two of you let us be, to solve one issue one at a time before creating another scenario, enh?" Kristor lashed at the two friends even with a smile.

"Kristor my man, let's not quarrel. Don't mind this pimp. Soap and water," Alaska now laughing loud and jeering at Peter.

"Alaska, if you ever call me a pimp again or even soap and water, I would blast you!" threatened Peter who was beginning to smile in spite of himself.

"Blast me, Mr. Dog. I want to go to heaven sooner. In fact, if you dare make a noise now," he paused. "I wouldn't mind calling you a pimp or a soap and water," retorted Alaska once more as everyone began to laugh including Peter himself.

Peter was a big fan of Snoop Dog, hence the dog master acronym. He had on several occasions for whatever reason did not take his bath but instead washed only his arms, head, and legs. The same way the Muslims do before prayer. Alaska nick named him soap and water on that.

"Both of you want to interrupt what I was saying earlier...," Iyke was saying when Mekus cuts in.

"Onoo leave Kolia alone or ease...,"

"Or what?" shouted everyone in a chorus.

"Or ease...in chort, I don't know what to tell you," Replied Mekus reluctantly.

"Was he struggling with the word in short?" Kristor mocked Mekus.

The indigenous people of Anambra origin have an assent in their mother tongue. They always struggle with some letters of the alphabet. For example, the letter (l) could be pronounced as (r), (c) as (s).

Everyone quite knew too well that Mekus was good at backbiting. He was more disliked for being a betrayer. To them, he hardly sees matters clearly especially when he had a hidden intention. So whenever he exhibits that character he was bound to receive a collective lashing.

"Or what!" came the second unanimous shout urging Mekus raised his demands.

"I swear, Mekus has a hidden agenda," shouted Peter when Mekus declined to speak further.

"What is it?" queried Iyke.

"Announcement, announcement. The dog wants to say something please," cried playful Alaska. He had walked up to where Peter was standing. With an extended arm, he clenched his fist towards Peter's mouth as a microphone gesture.

The little scene caused another round of laughter. Peter chased him into his room.

"Are you people watching as the dog chased after my roommate? What if he gives him rabies?" cried Eme, Alaska's roommate laughing.

The comment made Peter stop chasing after Alaska and made for Eme.

"Aricoco my brother, I heard you've got the medicine for dogs. Please come to my rescue," came the still laughing Eme as he took to his heels.

"Yes, the medicine for the dog is kids' excrement. If you can get an infants' excrement. Then call out to the dog, this way, Pieaa, pieaa, pieaae! The dog will start running towards you to lick the shit," Aricoco replied to Eme.

Overhearing that sarcastic comment Peter stopped from chasing after Eme who he was about to engage in a little exchange. He hurled a used empty can of a tin of milk at Aricoco who dodged it.

"See these kids, oh. When would you graduate as men?" Kristor asked.

"Don't mind Peter. No be you say your nickname na Snoop doggy-dog, ennh? Are you not the doggy master? Why you de hala? Don't take offense whenever a person tells you what some dogs eat as food in the village. Do you want us to remind you of the disease they can give a person if they are not vaccinated? At least, Aricoco had told you the food he feeds his dogs on. Abi, you eat infant excrement as his dog does?" Iyke mocked Peter.

"Does it mean that Aricoco doesn't have anything better to feed his village dogs than on infant excrement? That is quite abhorrible. I can't imagine how lanky, malnourished and sickly such a dog would look like?" Kristor objected with a shocking shrug.

"Let me ask you Kristor. Does it not strike you that doggy-master looked so lanky and malnourished?" Iyke said with a sly look at Peter's contorted face.

"But for God's sake he is not as lanky as Onoo," Alaska replied laughing.

"Thank you, Alaska, for reminding me about Onoo," acknowledged Iyke with a deliberate sense of urgency.

All this while Kelvin remained silent, watching the unfolding drama as it unfolds. Soon Kolia made her way out of the room and opened the burglarproof to let Onoo inside her room. Kelvin had been aware that the two had become friends. Yes, lovers and to a point, they were shameless at the way they carry about their libido inflamed affair. He sees no connection between the relationship and Onoo's sudden malnourished-looking state.

"Before any further procession on the matter on the ground, please, I would like to hear Peter's secret on Mekus," cuts in Eme.

"Yes, that's what we want to hear first. Oya, Peter, please have the floor!" Kristor urged.

"I would only allow myself to be obliged because it was Kristor's bidding," replied Peter non-smiling. He has found the pleasure to hit back at his arch-rival Mekus.

"We agree. But explain yourself please," Eme added. "The reason why Mekus hadn't been able to come out in the clear is that he himself had been eying Kolia. He is merely jealous that Kolia had not agreed to his hand of intimate friendship. Do you all know that this stingy Mekus

had been spending his money buying cans of juice and presents for her?" Peter lets the Cat out of the bag.

"For God's sake which Mekus? This stingy one?" asked Aricoco laughing. It all sounded like a puzzle to everyone. "Alarm don blow! So Mekus you'd been chasing after Kolia in secret, thinking that we would never get wind if

it?" Iyke said laughing.

"I talkam (I said it), say this kin person wey no dey give person money, something must be eating his money and na girls. See your life!" Kristor added laughing out loud.

"Chie! Wonders will never end," replied dumbfounded Alaska.

It was common knowledge that most people viewed Mekus as stingy. Others would say, he was too meticulous at spending or helping out. We all agreed he wasn't a generous person. He rarely admits he had any money to lend to anyone or help out. Maybe he was right. Most students came from poor families. The meager fund they get from their families they manage with utmost priority. Mekus could be given the benefit of the doubt. However, they knew as always crying of lack of money. So, it had come as a surprise to everyone though not unexpected.

But not everyone was taken by surprise. The fact that Mekus could have been spending his little income as he always puts it, on any girl. They were all surprised because it was, he who was always backstabbing about the waywardness of the girl Kolia. Yet behind their backs, he was secretly itching for her hand of friendship with gifts. What an absurd kind of character.

"You all are nothing but crazy! What'd I to do with Kolia by the way, enh?" Mekus found himself in an awkward defensive position.

"Kelvin, you'd been here. Had you ever seen her in my room alone with me?" he sought Kelvin's help out of the situation. Kelvin had not joined in the endless jeers as well.

"Leave big boy Kelvin alone my friend. When did he turn into a private room investigator? Does he enter your people's room excerpt if Kristor was inside it? Have you ever seen him with a girl before? Abeg, leave him in peace!" Iyke cuts Mekus short even before Kelvin could speak for himself.

"Get out of my way, am I talking to you?" Mekus was visibly annoyed as he barked at his fellow kinsman.

"I would never allow you to interact with Kelvin. He'd made me his mouthpiece," Alaska said in amusement. He stood akimbo between Kelvin and the two quarreling kinsmen.

"Secret womanizer. Why can't you own up? You hadn't even denied it," Aricoco said.

"Look at you. You think I am an endless womanizer like you?" Mekus tried to save his face rather poorly.

The parties got divided with Aricoco, Alaska, Eme, and Peter. These were the youngest students among the male students living in the lodge on one hand. Together they enjoyed the opportunity of ridiculing Mekus to his discomfort. Kristor and Kelvin sat together with Iyke still doing his laundry watching the scene.

"Mekus, if you're looking for an alibi you'd found the wrong person in Kelvin," Eme added.

"Yes, does Kelvin knew when you were secretly buying cans of juice and gifts to persuade her to date you?" Peter added amusedly.

"Omo, get behind me the lots of you!" Mekus scowled at them. He had never expected himself to feel embarrassed the way he was. Shamefaced; he quickly sought the refuge of his room.

While the amusement and jeering were going on, Iyke now put Kelvin and Kristor in the clear as regards Onoo.

"So, Kelvin you had been living here yet you seem not to sniff the ground enough to know what had been going on?" he said in a low but audible tone.

"Well, I am quite aware that the two had been amorously inflamed with each other, but I don't seem to relate his plight with their affair. Anyway, it's their lives," Kelvin replied in a nonchalant way.

"Well, it's not your fault. You don't enjoy our many gossips here. But call it gossip or pork-nosing, I don't give a damn! I would be the last person to see a boy like as am writhing in pain. And as foolish as that would be because he is after a girl," Iyke said as a matter of fact.

"To hell with girlfriends if this is what it is all about," Kristor said.

"How can a boy be giving all his money for keeps in the hands of a girl just because you sleep with her. She uses the money to buy anything she likes and feeding fat while you go hungry. Could you imagine that Onoo had gone to eat his breakfast inside her house at this particular time of the day? Who hadn't taken his lunch by now?" he retorted in annoyance. (hold)

"Maybe she didn't go to the market on time and couldn't prepare the food on time too," added Kristor in a sneering manner.

"Are you sure she no hollam with juju?" Peter who'd rejoined them asked in amusement.

"Which kain juju? For where? Our people said that it's how you place your mat that you lay on it," Kristor replied.

"Listen, Kelvin, you're my roommate. You quite knew I have girlfriends. Yes, I have them in every size, skin color, taste and texture, whatever. In a sense, I'm not speaking out of bitter jealousy. We all are well aware that we're doing a pre-degree or a foundation program so to say. In my own viewpoint whichever lifestyle, one had decided to live on as a student he mustn't treat his studies with kid gloves. One is my fellow kinsman as such my brother. If he didn't do well at the end of the pre-degree program even if I decided to ignore him, it would affect me because he's, my brother. I don't see any logic behind him abandoning his studies just because of a girl," Iyke continued with a concerned look on his face.

"Yes, he shouldn't be sacrificing his future prospect just because of a girl. Every morning, afternoon, and evening he is in Kolia's room, doing what?" Eme chipped in.

"For God's sake instead of concentrating on his studies," added Aricoco.

Kelvin looked at the busybodies and smiled. They all were no different from Mekus in some sense. Among all the girls in the lodge, Kolia was to a point an attractive girl among the girls in the lodge but not the most intelligent.