Chapter 4

A hand landed on my shoulder, firm and warm, pulling me away from the cold contemplation of the night sky. The scent of an all-too-familiar cologne, expensive and musky, invaded my senses. My muscles tensed.

"Alize," Ethan's voice, low and possessive, sent a fresh wave of dread through me. "You shouldn't be out here. You'll catch a cold." He tried to drape his tailored jacket over my shoulders.

I recoiled as if burned, batting his hand away with a violent jerk of my arm. "Don't you dare play the concerned husband now, Ethan," I spat, the words laced with pure venom. "You lost that privilege years ago. Or did you forget all the times you left me shivering, literally and figuratively, while you were off playing house with your little protégé?"

His jaw tightened. A vein throbbed visibly in his temple. He grabbed my wrist, his grip surprisingly strong, almost bruising. "What has gotten into you?" he hissed, his eyes narrowed. He looked around furtively, as if checking if anyone was watching. "You used to be so calm, so understanding."

"Calm?" I almost laughed, a bitter, broken sound. "Understanding? That was the old Alize, Ethan. The one you systematically destroyed."

He ignored my words. His gaze dropped, fixing on something just beneath my chin. Before I could process his intention, he yanked at the collar of my dress, pulling the fabric taut across my chest. The modest neckline stretched, exposing a sliver of skin just above my abdomen.

He stared, his eyes widening, a strange, almost manic glint replacing the anger. His fingers, still clamped around my wrist, trembled slightly.

My heart hammered against my ribs. What was he looking at?

Then, I saw it too. The faint, silvery lines, like ancient riverbeds, crisscrossing the skin just where the fabric strained. The stretch marks. The indelible map of a life I had almost brought into the world, a child I had lost.

His eyes snapped back to mine, sharp and intense. "Alize," he breathed, his voice raw, almost a whisper, "did you... did you have a baby? Is that why you didn't look back? Is that why you disappeared?"

The cold drizzle intensified, blurring the edges of the night. The wind whipped around us, carrying his words away, making them sound distant, unreal. My vision swam. All I could see were the ghostly echoes of a past so painful, I rarely allowed myself to revisit it.

Flashback

The divorce papers were signed, my meager possessions packed into a single suitcase. I was adrift. No job, no savings, no home. Just a fragile, fluttering hope deep inside me: a baby. His baby. The one I had fought for, the one I had decided to keep, consequences be damned.

But where would I go? My parents lived across the country, and I couldn't bear to face their disappointment, their questions. Not with this secret. Not with this shame.

I rented a cheap, dingy room in a rundown part of the city, working odd jobs under the table. Cleaning houses, waiting tables, anything to make a few dollars. My marketing degree, my years of experience, meant nothing without a public record, without references. I was a ghost, truly.

The morning sickness was relentless. My body ached, my spirit was crushed. I remembered the doctor's warning: another termination might leave me sterile. But what choice did I have now? How could I raise a child alone, with nothing? Desperation gnawed at me. I tried everything I'd heard of in hushed whispers from other desperate women – hot baths, strange herbal teas, violent exercises. I wished for a natural miscarriage, a silent, merciful end to a life that hadn't even begun.

But the baby held on. Stubborn. Resilient. A tiny flicker of life, refusing to be extinguished. And slowly, imperceptibly, that stubbornness began to melt the ice around my heart. I would feel a flutter, a gentle kick, and a fierce, protective love would surge through me.

"You want to live, don't you?" I'd whisper to my belly, tears streaming down my face in the lonely darkness of my room. "Then we'll fight. We'll fight together."

I started saving every penny, buying tiny onesies and soft blankets from thrift stores. I imagined holding this child, feeling its warmth against my skin. It would be my redemption. My reason. My everything.

But fate, it seemed, had other plans.

One cold, wet night, a sharp, agonizing pain ripped through my abdomen. Blood. So much blood. I collapsed on the floor, calling out, but there was no one to hear. I managed to drag myself to the phone, calling the emergency services, my voice a ragged whisper.

At the hospital, the doctors moved with urgent, hushed tones. "Severe complications," I heard one say. "Pre-term labor. She needs to be admitted immediately. We might be able to save the baby, but it's going to be touch and go."

"I... I don't have insurance," I choked out, my voice barely audible. "I can't afford this."

Their faces fell. The social worker, a kind but weary woman, explained my options. Without payment, without insurance, the best they could offer was basic care. The specialized treatment, the long-term hospitalization, was beyond my reach.

In a fit of desperate, agonizing hope, I called the only number I knew that might offer a lifeline. Ethan's number. It rang and rang, an eternity of unanswered hope. Finally, after what felt like hours, a groggy voice answered.

"Hello?" Ethan's voice, slurred and thick with sleep.

"Ethan," I whispered, my voice cracked, "it's Alize. I'm... I'm in the hospital. The baby... our baby is in trouble. I need help."

There was a long pause. A rustling sound. Then, a low, feminine moan in the background. Jenna. Her breathy whisper, "Who is it, darling?"

My blood ran cold.

"Alize," Ethan said, his voice now sharp, annoyed. "What do you want? I'm busy. And don't call me about that. We settled that already. There is no baby."

He hung up. The dial tone buzzed, cold and final, in my ear. I stared at the phone, my hand trembling so violently I almost dropped it. The last vestiges of hope, the last shred of my belief in him, died right there.

I lost the baby a few hours later. Alone. Uninsured. Uncared for. Just a broken woman in a cold hospital bed, mourning a life that never fully began.

The stretch marks, those silvery lines, were the only physical proof that my body had once cradled a life, that I had almost been a mother. A cruel, permanent reminder of love, loss, and the ultimate betrayal.

End Flashback

The cold reality of Ethan' s face snapped me back. He was still holding my wrist, his grip tighter now, his eyes burning with a strange mixture of accusation and greed.

"So, you did," he said, his voice hoarse, a triumphant glint in his eyes overshadowing the initial shock. "You had a baby. My baby. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you hide my child from me, Alize?"

I yanked my wrist free, my chest heaving with a suffocating mix of rage and grief. "Your child?" I scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "There is no 'your' child, Ethan. Not with me. You made sure of that, didn't you? Five times. Do you remember? Or did the money make you forget?"

He shook his head, a frantic denial. "No, no. This is different. These marks... they weren't there before. This is recent. This is my baby. You kept my child from me." His gaze, filled with a terrifying possessiveness, slid back to my abdomen. "Where is he? Or she? Is it a boy or a girl? How old?"

"There is no baby, Ethan," I said, my voice flat, dead. My eyes stung, but I refused to let the tears fall. Not in front of him. "Just an emptiness where a life should have been. Thanks to you." I turned to walk away, needing to escape the suffocating weight of his delusion.

"Alize!" he bellowed, grabbing my arm again, his grip fiercely possessive. "Don't you dare! You can't just walk away from my child!"

"Ethan! My darling!" Jenna's voice, sharper and more insistent now, cut through the night. She hurried onto the terrace, her silk scarf pulled tight around her head, shivering slightly. She looked at Ethan's hand on my arm, then at his wild eyes, a flicker of suspicion crossing her face. "What's going on out here? You two are still arguing? Alize, really, it's late. Let me take you home. You look positively green."

I looked at her, then back at Ethan, his face a mask of possessive rage. The thought of another second alone with him was unbearable. Jenna's offer, despite her presence, felt like a lifeline. A temporary escape.

"Fine," I said, my voice barely audible, my body stiff with a sudden, overwhelming exhaustion. "Let's go."