Chapter 1 One

/Esme/

"Your sex life sucks, Esme. It's nothing to write home about."

I rolled my eyes and tried not to groan. "It's not that bad, girlie. Stop making it sound worse than it actually is, especially with that expression on your face."

Jane scoffed. "Really, babe? You've never had an orgasm in your life, and you're about to marry the same dude who doesn't even know how to make you cum. Really?"

I sighed. "He was my first, Jane. And I'm in love with him. He makes me happy. So fuck orgasms and all that. Being happy is more important."

"What?!" Jane looked at me like I'd grown three heads. "Sex is life, man."

"Don't you... don't you get urges?" she pressed on anyway, completely ignoring my growing discomfort.

"Just shut up now and focus on your drink," I snapped, shooting her a more serious glare. That finally did it her mouth clamped shut, lips pressed into a thin line.

The answer, though?

Yes. I did. I got sexual urges. I didn't exactly want to be twenty-six and still clueless about what real pleasure felt like, but... it was what it was. I had things complicated, dangerous things chasing after me. And Dave... he made me feel safe. He made me feel happy. That filled up the spaces where he lacked.

There was something about me. I came off bold and brave, like nothing could shake me. But inside? I was timid. Embarrassed easily. Sex? Vulnerability? The idea of being naked, open, seen it terrified me. And yet with Dave, I felt safe. Maybe that was all that really mattered.

"Come on, have your drink. You look like you're lost in thoughts."

"I'm fine," I lied, flashing her a quick smile and picking up my wine glass.

"Cheers!" May shouted, lifting her glass high. The others echoed her excitement as we clinked our drinks together.

I took a full gulp of my wine and set the glass back on the table.

"Aren't we going to dance?" Liam asked, already getting to his feet.

"Not me. I'm good," I said quickly, brushing the idea away. I was glad the sex talk had ended. I knew they said those things because they cared... but I wasn't about to throw away Dave just because the sex wasn't perfect. Or even decent.

"There she goes Miss Serious!" someone teased. "Come on, have some fun! We're celebrating you, remember?"

I nearly rolled my eyes. Yeah, they were celebrating me. But for what exactly? Getting a job at the biggest company in the country right after graduation?

The company belonged to Dave's father. So really, it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't even worth a celebration. But my friends wouldn't let it go.

"I really don't want to dance," I said.

"You can be such a bore sometimes," Jane groaned. "Come on, please?"

"Let her be," Liam cut in. "Don't force her if she's not in the mood."

"There we go. Mr. Serious defending Ms. Serious," someone muttered.

"I don't feel like dancing either," Liam added, and plopped down beside me.

"They can be so annoying," he chuckled.

"I know, right?" I smiled a little.

Liam was different from the others. I met most of these guys in uni, but Liam? Liam was a high school thing. He'd been in my life for years, always showing up, always sticking around. Always close.

"So... did your fiancé pull some strings to get you the job? That happened really fast."

"I guess he did," I said, shrugging. "I'm not really sure. He just... wants me to be happy."

"So... you're meeting the in-laws tomorrow? For real this time?"

"Yeah." I nodded slowly. "I'm finally meeting Dave's dad tomorrow. I haven't met him in the five years I've been with Dave. He was never around."

"Five years is a long time," Liam said. "Weird that he barely calls."

"Dave misses him," I murmured. "A lot."

Liam nodded, sensing the awkwardness. "I'm applying to the company too. Hopefully, I get in."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Really? You have to be everywhere I am?"

"I have to protect you," he said playfully. "I am your big brother."

I snorted. "You're a month older than me. In your dreams."

"But I do hope you get in," I added after a beat. "You being in my space just makes things easier for me."

He smiled at that, and I looked away, my chest suddenly tight. Then came the weird part.

I was feeling hot.

I let out a slow breath and shifted in my seat. Why the hell was I suddenly so warm?

"You okay?" Liam asked, squinting at me. "Your face just got really flushed."

"I'm fine," I replied quickly, too quickly. I wasn't fine. I was far from fine.

The warmth in my body had started out subtle just a tingle but now it had grown. Fast. Too fast. My thighs pressed together without me even thinking.

I was horny. Really horny. And I had absolutely no idea why.

"Are you sure?" Liam's concern deepened. "You don't look okay."

"Can you get me some water?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

He nodded and stood up immediately, hurrying off.

Liam might only be a month older than me, but he played the big brother role well when it counted.

By the time he returned, I was squirming in my seat, thighs clenched so tight it almost hurt. What the hell was happening to me?

Being horny had never been my thing. I always had control weird control over my body. And every time I'd had sex in the past, it had been because Dave wanted it.

Not because I did.

And definitely not like this.