Chapter 4 FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE

PRESENT DAY

ALYSSA'S POV

I successfully made my way to my new school, Riverdale College. I found my way to the administrative office and got everything I needed to settle in.

As I walked through the hallways, I couldn't help but admire the numerous students passing through.

They all came here in pursuit of one dream or the other. Were any of them like me?

Who had to fight tooth and nail to be here or were they like the majority who had everything handed to them on a silver spoon?

I had everything too, once. I had several silver spoons sticking out my mouth.

But then one day, it was gone. Life took them, and I realized how cruel life was.

No matter what you thought you had, it could be gone by tomorrow.

I moved through the crowd trying to find my way to my first class for the day.

I eventually located the class and thankfully, the lecturer was yet to arrive.

I took a seat at the last roll, wanting to avoid talking to anyone or making any friends.

I didn't want more friends. I already had the best friends in the world, Brittany and Tricia.

I smiled as I remembered them. We were together yesterday as they prepped me for my first day of college.

It had been crazy and fun.

So, yeah, I didn't need more friends. People tend to want to look into your soul anyway.

Brittany and Tricia were there for me without trying to do that.

They didn't ask about my nightmares or my discomfort around guys and loved me effortlessly.

I would forever be grateful that I met them.

The door opened and thinking it was the lecturer, I tried to sit properly and ended up pushing my bag to the ground.

It turned out it was just another student coming into the class.

Sighing, I bent to pick up the bag, the same time someone beside me reached for the bag.

Our hands touched and I looked up and locked eyes with the bluest eyes I had ever seen.

My breath caught in my throat as we stared at each other.

When I looked back, I always wondered why I ever thought he looked like an angel.

Was it the blue eyes? Why did everyone think blued eyed boys were angels?

Logan Campbell turned out to be far from an angel.

YEARS LATER _ The Bright Light

ALYSSA'S POV

"If you ever breathe a word of what happened today to anyone, I'll tell everyone what a slut you are."

Logan's words haunted me as I walked away from his house that night.

Something died in me that night too. I went numb, and I wore acceptance like a cloak.

I had no choice but to accept the truth which was staring me right in the face.

I was a slut. I wasn't into girls but I had an orgasm when Tricia ate me out.

And I didn't hate how she had tasted on my tongue. Was I still only into guys now?

Or maybe I would never be able to stand a human's touch again.

I stumbled through the streets, aimlessly, with no destination and my mind blank.

I imagined what anyone who saw me could see, a badly bruised girl, swollen face dressed in torn clothes.

The gown I had worn to Logan's house barely covered me up now.

My legs were on display and my boobs were uncovered to some extent.

I could only hope I didn't run into perverts.

My head hurt. I stumbled and blinked, trying to see past the blackness behind my eyes.

I could barely see where I was going and my head felt like it was about to split in two.

How could I walk home in this condition?

Fresh tears broke free from my eyes and made their way down my cheeks.

How had I ended up here? I regretted meeting Logan. And telling him my secret was the most stupid thing I ever did.

I wondered if the signs had been there from the beginning and I just ignored them or he was so good at pretending.

But the more I thought of it, the more I came to the conclusion that indeed they were signs but I ignored them.

He told me he loved me and I believed him. After all, what did a slut know about love?

Despite the love my parents had shown me, or the one they shared, I didn't deserve it.

That was what I told myself after the love I had known all my life was yanked from me one cruel night.

And later on, I just didn't deserve it anymore because I couldn't even protect the love my parents gave me.

I cried out as my legs gave way and I collapsed to the ground.

My breathing came in hard labored gasps as I remained on my knees on the floor.

I had no idea how much distance I had covered because of all the thoughts jumping around in my head.

All I knew was that I suddenly couldn't move anymore.

The hammering in my head had gotten worse and my vision was failing me.

All of a sudden, a bright light appeared from nowhere. I squinted, my eyes burning from the brightness.

What was happening? Was I dead? Was this the light on the other side people spoke so much about?

I cried out in relief and joy as I let myself go and I tumbled to the ground.

Yes, Lord. Sweet relief. I wasn't religious but right now I was going to embrace the light.

I think I hear the sound of an engine running, like...like a car?

I'm not sure. I stretched my hands towards the light and managed to get on my feet again.

I wanted to make sure whoever was in the light saw me clearly.

The next thing I knew, I hit something hard, throwing me to the ground.

I think I hear someone shouting as I laid crumpled on the ground.

I laughed, my head aching badly. Goodbye world, goodbye pain, goodbye sad miserable life.

I gasped the moment I thought I felt strong arms wrapped around me and lifted me off the ground.

I heard someone swear and I frowned.

Do angels use cuss words? Or was I going to hell? I let out an anguished cry.

Of course, sluts don't go to heaven, right? But the bright light...

I tried to force my eyes open to see my angel, whose hands were soft and strong? And safe.

I couldn't see anything no matter how hard I tried and I tried to reach out with my hands.

"You're safe now." Did I really hear those words? I don't know...but something about the voice soothed me.

I smiled, my heart dancing as I closed my eyes and let the darkness consume me.