" I will, I will, right after I see Rose and I am sure she's fine"
He takes my hand in his "You are a strong woman, I just want you to know, I am always here when you need me for anything"
I take a deep breath not knowing how to start the conversation.
"I am quitting my job at the firm" I blurt out.
He retracts his hand "Why?"
I shrug, trying to seem unconcerned "Nothing, I got a job with better pay"
"Where?"
"The nexus media"
His eyes enlarge in shock "And you didn't think it appropriate to tell me that you were at least looking for a job"
"It all happened so fast"
"You don't care about me"
I look up from my meal "What?"
"If you cared about me, you wouldn't just leave without telling me, you wouldn't involve me in your plans, it's like I am forcing things"
"Excuse me?" I say anger welling up in me. "Don't even start to act like the victim here, your sister isn't the one lying in a hospital bed, you are so lax and comfortable because you do not have responsibilities, I am not leaving the state, I am just changing my job"
"You are right, I don't have responsibilities, how would you know if I do when you have never bothered to know anything about me, you turn me down every chance you get and you can never be open about your feelings, do you like me Camil? I want to know"
Silence.
"This is not the time for this, please Ben. There are other pressing issues right now" I say trying to end the conversation.
"I thought as much" he pushes his chair back and walks away.
I sit there watching him leave, observing how his muscles flex as he walks, composed and arranged. I don't call out to him.
I check for Rose luckily she's up.
"Hey girl" I try to sound as cheerful as ever saw I sit at the edge of the bed.
"Hey," she says with a smile
"How are you feeling" I reach out for her, it feels so small, so fragile.
"I feel better, I really don't want you all worrying about me"
"If we don't worry about you who should we then worry about"
"Mom didn't leave till midnight yesterday, really worried about her"
"Mom would be fine, we all would, just get better for us pleaseee, your chemo has started, another hair loss"
"At least I get to save money on shampoo" she chuckles.
I smile, she has accepted things as they were, a coping mechanism. We talked about school, the future every other everything else to get our minds off the present situation.
But deep down, I can't ignore the dread curling in my stomach.
I stop by the office to break the news to my boss and clear my desk.
He barely blinks. "Not surprising," he says, scribbling something on a form. "People turning in resignations? Happens every day."
I really didn't have much to pack anyway, I never really settled in here, I always seemed out of place.
"Oh, Camila, you'll be missed," comes a voice I recognize all too well.
Jessica. The bane of my existence.
I glance up. "Wow, that's surprising. You never seemed particularly fond of me."
She laughs. "You make me sound like a terrible person. Wish you the best of luck, though."
"Ditto." I roll my eyes as she sashays away, most definitely relieved that I am finally gone.
Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Isabella Montclair: Five days, Miss Duarte. No excuses.
I let out a deep breath.
Stepping out of the firm, I take a moment to enjoy the stale air. I relax a little as the cool breeze sweeps over me, I stand there for a while, a temporary relief. My life is about to change that is for sure.
I do a little sign of the cross on my chest.
"Camil! Camil, wait!"
I turn to see Mike rushing toward me, he seemed tensed.
"I'm sorry," he blurts out. "That was selfish of me. I should have known better. I wasn't thinking. I was just worried about you. I don't want us to be on bad terms, I miss you"
"It's fine, Mike." I shift my bag higher on my shoulder. "We'll talk some other time."
Silence.
"Can I get a hug?" Almost a whisper I could barely hear. His arms are outstretched.
I hesitate. My hands are full, but I don't move away when he wraps his arms around me. I don't hug him back, but I allow myself to relax against him.
I needed that.
Even if I wouldn't admit it.
Sinclair~
Her moans through the walls of my office, but I don't care enough to listen. One hand grips the edge of the desk behind her, the other tangled in her hair as I thrust into her with no emotion. Just release.
Her nails dig into my back as she whispers something about seeing me again. I don't respond.
Moments later, I zip up my trousers, already disinterested. I walk over to the table, grab my wallet, and pull out a few crisp bills. "Here," I say flatly, tossing the money toward her without meeting her eyes. "You know the way out."
She blinks, her lips parting slightly as if to speak, but the look in my eyes shuts her up. She gathers her clothes in silence and hurries out.
These things are meant to make me feel better but they never do.
I adjust the cuffs of my sleeve, brush my fingers through my hair, and finally glance at the time 9:30 PM.
Papers are still scattered across the table from a chaotic afternoon. We lost a deal that would've pulled in six figures. My auditor broke the news like he was offering a d*mn weather update.
I was searching for the paperwork, trying to see what went wrong. I had to call in a plump woman to ease my tensed spirit.
I grab my coat and phone, no one has called, not even Mother.
I pack up and leave.
Downstairs it's raining heavily. I don't fancy having a personal chauffeur so no one was going to bring my car to the entrance. One of those days I wish I had hired one. I skip to my car taking long strides.
Once I settle into the driver's seat, I go through my messages.
Ann: Last night was fun, hoping to see you some other time.
Mary: Hey, you didn't get back to me, baby
Mum: Been trying to reach you, hope you are good.
Then some others that are work-related. I start my engine. Just then I notice a figure, an umbrella over their head right in front of my car, wearing a black coat. Searching for something in their bag.
Oh great, a woman. I horn.
No acknowledgement.
I horn again. She glares at me, flashes a well-manicured middle finger in my direction, and walks away.
Women! I scoff.