Chapter 3 03.

A week later, Jiang Shan was discharged from the hospital, but with his left leg still in a cast, it would be at least another month before he could walk normally. His parents had to work all day and couldn't stay home to care for him. Without hesitation, Qi You volunteered for the duty. He told Jiang Shan's parents that he lived nearby, so it was convenient to drop by, and besides, as the class president, it was his duty to help a classmate.

And just like that, Qi You officially obtained the key to Jiang Shan's apartment.

The rented apartment wasn't large and was simply furnished, but it was clean and tidy. Qi You helped Jiang Shan sit down on the sofa, then began to look around. He saw an empty dog bed in the corner of the room. Next to it were an empty food bowl and a water bowl.

Dou Dou.

Qi You remembered the dog. He had seen it once. But given the current situation, he didn't know if it was still with him.

Just then, Jiang Shan also looked towards the dog bed. He frowned.

"That..." He pointed to the corner. "What is that? Why... do I feel so sad looking at it?"

Qi You's heart clenched. Memories could be lost, but emotions, it seemed, still lingered somewhere in the subconscious. He stepped forward, blocking Jiang Shan's view.

"It's nothing. Just some old stuff. I'll clear it out later," he said quickly, trying to change the subject. "Are you hungry? I'll go cook something for you."

Distracted, Jiang Shan nodded. "Then... I'll have to trouble you."

Qi You breathed a quiet sigh of relief and hurried into the kitchen. While Jiang Shan wasn't looking, he quickly gathered up everything related to Dou Dou.

Their "cohabitation" life began.

Every morning, Qi You would arrive early to prepare breakfast for Jiang Shan. Then, he would carry him on his back down the stairs and all the way to school. At school, everyone had grown accustomed to the sight of Qi You taking care of Jiang Shan. He would help him get his books, copy notes, and even help him to the restroom. After school, he would carry him home again, prepare dinner, help him with his studies, and only return to his own home late at night.

Qi You did everything so naturally, as if they had been doing it for a very long time. And Jiang Shan, after his initial awkwardness, gradually grew used to Qi You's presence in his life. He began to depend on him.

One evening, after they had finished eating, Qi You was washing dishes in the kitchen while Jiang Shan sat on the sofa watching TV. But he wasn't really watching; he was secretly stealing glances at Qi You's tall back through the kitchen doorway. The warm yellow light shone on him, creating a gentle halo. Jiang Shan felt an unusual warmth blooming in his chest.

He had a boyfriend. His boyfriend was very tall, very handsome, and very gentle. He was so lucky. Even though he couldn't remember anything, perhaps his past wasn't as bad as he might have imagined.

"What are you staring at?" Qi You's voice suddenly broke through his thoughts. He had finished the dishes and was now standing in front of him, holding a glass of warm milk.

Jiang Shan jumped, his face flushing red. "I... I wasn't."

Qi You chuckled and handed the glass to Jiang Shan. "Drink this. It'll help you sleep."

Jiang Shan took the glass, the heat seeping warmly into his palm. He lowered his head and took a small sip, not daring to look directly into Qi You's eyes.

Qi You sat down next to him. The sofa wasn't large, and they sat so close their shoulders were almost touching. Qi You could smell the faint scent of shower gel on Jiang Shan.

"It's the weekend tomorrow. Do you want to go anywhere?" Qi You asked.

Jiang Shan shook his head. "With my leg like this, where could I go?"

"I'll carry you," Qi You said without a hint of hesitation. "We could go to the park, or to the movies. We used to do that all the time."

There it was again, "used to." Jiang Shan pressed his lips together. He desperately wanted to remember those "used to" moments, but his mind remained a blank space.

Seeing the sad look on his face, Qi You quickly added, "It's okay. It's okay if you don't remember. We can make new memories." He said. "Starting tomorrow."

Jiang Shan's heart trembled. He looked up, into Qi You's eyes. In those deep pools, he saw his own reflection, a small and protected figure.

He didn't know what to say. He just unconsciously reached out and grasped the corner of Qi You's shirt.

The hand holding Qi You's shirt was suddenly enveloped by a larger, warmer one. Qi You took his hand, their ten fingers interlocking.

"Jiang Shan," he said his name.

"Yes?" Jiang Shan whispered back, his heart thumping like a wild drum. This was the first time they had been so intimate.

Qi You said nothing more, only squeezing his hand gently. He wanted to say so much. He wanted to say, I've liked you for so long. He wanted to say, It hurts me to see you sad. He wanted to say, I'm sorry for lying to you.

But in the end, he could only remain silent, letting the warmth of his palm speak for him.

The lie was like a sweet candy shell wrapped around a bitter truth. He was giving Jiang Shan a fake love, but the feelings he poured into it were real. He was both a fraud and a man infatuated.

Jiang Shan was silent too. He felt the warmth and safety from Qi You's hand. He didn't know that this relationship he now cherished was built on an empty foundation. He only knew that since waking up in the hospital, his world had been dark and strange, but Qi You's appearance had lit a lamp within it.

Even if that lamp was faint and kindled by a lie, for Jiang Shan right now, it was his entire world of light.

He squeezed Qi You's hand gently and leaned his head on his shoulder. The gesture was completely unconscious, an instinctive act of reliance.

Qi You's entire body went rigid. Jiang Shan's breath fanned across his neck, warm and ticklish. His heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest. How many times had he dreamed of this moment during long, lonely nights, when all he could do was watch his back from behind? And now, it was real.

A reality bought with a lie.

Happiness and guilt intertwined, torturing his very soul. But he didn't push Jiang Shan away. He wrapped an arm around his thin shoulders, pulling him a little closer into his embrace.

"Go to sleep," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.

In Qi You's arms, Jiang Shan slowly closed his eyes. He felt very sleepy, not because of the warm milk, but because of the strange sense of peace.

So, this is what it feels like to be loved.