Chapter 2 Did you think I'll ever love you

MELISSA

"Ugh," Blake grunted as he slammed into me, pain sipping through my body like a wave of venom.

"You fucking cunt!" he groaned, as he rams into me with a force that made the bed creak under the pressure, like a warrior striking down his foe.

"Did you think you were special?" He asked, taking his left hand to my neck, choking me almost to death.

I could barely breathe or see, hot tears slid down the sides of my eyes as I lay there, helpless, regret swelling up in my soul.

It had been five years already.

I was not sure which hurt more... his words or his hands, each word... each touch... a painful reminder of the horrible mistake I had made 5 years ago.

The dark, cold and suffocating bedroom... Blake's room... my husband's bedroom, his territory, my place of torture.

I stared at the ceiling, the expensive chandelier staring back at me as I forced my mind to drift somewhere else... anywhere but here... while Blake does whatever he wanted with my body, his movements were harsh and punishing.

He doesn't give a care in the world for my pain, never has and never will.

His breath hot and rough under my skin, his eyes filled with anger, my body motionless beneath him, accepting it like I always did.

His hand tightened around my throat again, "look at me, you stupid whore" he said in a cold voice.

A hard slap landed on my face, bringing me back to reality, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth, the little efforts to escape my reality in my head... gone.

I bit my lower lip just enough to bruise it to keep me from crying out. My cries and pleas only worsens his anger.

"You sly fool, did you think that you would replace her?" He growled.

"Jealous filthy slut, thought you could ever take her place? huh?" His body trembling in anger above mine.

Mentioning her always made it worse, his rage increased and his finger dug into my skin, the pain unbearable.

"Did you think i will ever love you? You made her give up her place for you and now you act innocent?" He snarled, then pulled out.

A fleeting relief of the hell I was in, before tossing me on my side in a rough and quick manner, like I was nothing but garbage.

'finally, he is done' I thought before he pulled me by my arm, throwing me on the floor.

"You know you deserve this" he said confidently.

"Please" I muttered.

"Do you think you're not supposed to be punished?" He asked in a spiteful tone, using his leg to kick my stomach.

"Stop," I cried out, folding my self on the floor protecting my stomach and the little life inside.

"Now get out!!" He yelled and I forced myself to stand up and dashed off to my room.

I closed my room door shut as I got inside, leaning against the wooden door, pain flowing through my entire body.

Then I felt it, hot liquid running down my legs, I slowing brought my head down, praying it wasn't what I thought it would be.

"No... No... No" I cried, forcing down my nightgown and rushing into my bathroom. I carefully sat in the bathtub running warm water into it.

I prayed hard that I could at least keep this one after loosing three in the past five years of this horrific marriage.

Tears streamed down my eyes as I tried to steady my breathing, hoping it would all be okay. Then I heard the door creak open.

"Mrs Lisa?" I heard the familiar voice of my personal maid, Mrs Rose, the only person kind to me in this whole manor.

"Oh no... Lisa" she said softly coming into the bathroom.

"I'm bleeding..." I whimpered, hardly able to speak.

"He hit you again, didn't he?" She asked, I could feel the pity in her voice.

I looked up at her, pity overwhelmed her face, unshed tears stuck in her eyes as she looked down at me, her usually cheerful face, her heartwarming smile... gone, replaced with sadness.

"I'll get the doctor" She said as she turned around, but I grabbed her hand immediately,

"No...wait, I'll be fine" My voice cracked, blinking against the blur of pain.

"Help me get cleaned up" I whispered, fear clouding my head.

As she helped me get cleaned up I couldn't help but remember how things were, before I got married, how happy I was, unknown to me that this marriage would be my ruin, the greatest mistake i ever made.

Mrs Rose carefully led me out of the bathtub and to the bedroom, helping me lay on the bed. She gently massaged my swollen feet, making me relax and giving me a little sense of relief.

"Thank you" I appreciated letting out a small sigh.

"It's no problem ma'am" Mrs Rose replied as she glanced at me, giving me a soft smile, the wrinkled corners of her eyes showing her aged features.

"You should get some rest now," her hand on mine giving me a gentle pat, her calm voice soothing.

"You too,"

"Good night Mrs Lisa" She bade me.

"Good night" I responded, watching her close the door behind her.

I lay in bed, my thoughts intensely clouding my mind. I gently rubbed my protruding stomach, thinking of what would happen if I lost it.

I stared at the ceiling as the dim light from the bedside lamp cast soft shadows across the room.

Mixed emotions flowed through me, a mix of love, fear, and uncertainty.

I had come so far six months of hope and silent prayers. But what if fate was cruel? What if this precious part of me was taken away again before I even had the chance to hold it, to see its face, to hear its first cry?

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply as I wrapped my hands around my stomach, as if shielding my baby from the dark thoughts going through my mind.

The painful memories of my other losses rushing back. Tear stung my eyes threatening to fall but I blinked them away.

I went to wonderland, as sleep slowly pulled me in.