Chapter 5 The decision

chapter 5

I watched as the kids played football. Their howls of enthusiasm filled the air, making it alive. There was another kind of warmth from watching the kids. Their smiles, waves of laughter, it all made me smile. "Pass me the ball, fast!" Rees, the seven-year-old boy yelled at his teammate in authority.

Phineas passed the ball to Rees and within seconds, he goaled. His teammates cheered for him as they won the game. "Hey, boys!" I called, loud enough for them to hear me. All twelve heads snapped at me, their eyes gleaming with young hope. "I have gifts for you! Come!" On the news, they ran toward me with glee and I chuckled. "Now, stand in a straight line."They did. I was surprised to see how much they have come to obey my words. I remembered back in the days when I was new here and these boys were toddlers. It had been so many years and during these past years, I have come to know each one of them. I passed each of them a sandwich and flavored milkshake. They ate the sandwiches in joy. "Do you like it?"

"Thank you, Luna sister!" they said in unison and ran back to the ground. I breathed and sat back on the wooden bench again, my eyes gazing toward the girls on the other side. Hana, Gracie, and Mia played with the sand while Ingrid played on the swing.

"Hey, Hana!" I yelled when I saw Hana pouring a handful of sand into Gracie's blonde hair. "Don't do that!" she had already done that. Gracie was busy playing with the sand that she didn't notice at first. She lifted her head only when she heard my voice.

She cried, getting the feel of sand in her hair. "Oh no! Why did you do that?"

Hana snickered, proud of what she has done. She was the most notorious out of all.

"You are bad! I won't be friends with you!" Gracie wailed. Hana didn't mind her words and went to play on the seesaw alone. I sighed. These girls.... "Don't worry, they will be friends again" a sweet voice came from behind and I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. "You are early today," she pointed.

Sister Natalie came to sit beside me, her ever-sweet smile on full display. "Why, you don't like seeing me this early?" I teased to which she laughed.

"You come early whenever you feel low. So tell me, what is bothering you?" she put forward her assumption, her eyes searching my face. True. I came early whenever I wasn't in a good mood.

I got the results today and as expected, the results were positive. I thought I was prepared to face the truth but the moment I saw the confirmation, I couldn't help but weep.

"You know me too much. I'm fine, actually. I just missed everyone here" I lied, faking a smile. Sister Natalie sighed because she knew I was lying but she didn't poke her nose.

"We miss you too. You only come once a week now."

"With classes and my shift at Daphne's, my schedule is packed," I said with a shrug. The crimson yellow leaves swayed when the wind arrived.

Now that I was in my third year of college, I had two extra classes in my schedule, along with my job at Daphne's. I have missed more than three shifts there and I was lucky enough that Mrs. White didn't fire me. As Sister Natalie said about the adoption, the sudden cry had my attention. We both directed our heads from where the source had come. Jordan, the six-year-old boy was on the ground and was bawling.

I hurried to get a look at him, worried if he got hurt. Upon looking closely, I noticed blood oozing out from his right knee. "Jordan," I picked him up in my arms, the other kids circling me. "We need to get you to the nurse's room."

Half an hour later, Jordan looked fine. His knee was bandaged and he wasn't crying anymore. "Get some rest. You will be fine by tomorrow." I caressed his head lightly and exited the nurse's room, closing the door from behind.

"How is he?" Sister Natalie asked. "All better" I assured her.

We strolled through the halls of Star Orphanage. Out of the blue, Sister Natalie said, "You will be a good mother, Luna." I stopped in my tracks, the bitter taste making its way again. She appeared surprised when gloomy clouds appeared over my head.

I wouldn't have minded her words, in fact, I would have been happy to hear that but now I wasn't. Not when I was pregnant and had no desire to keep the child. The words only made me feel guilty. "How do you know?" I asked, her voice low.

She smiled, "Because I know. You are benevolent, empathetic, and you love the children. Jordan was harmed, yet you felt the torment in your heart as well. I wouldn't start pointing out to prove what I said. "

"I... " the urge to tell her that I was pregnant was at the tip of my tongue. To tell her that I have decided to abort the child. Would she be saying those words again? I looked away, "Being a mother is a challenge and I am not ready."

"I'm not saying you are going to be a mother by tomorrow" she joked, "but one day when you have your own child, I know you will be the best mother to him or her."

"Please... Don't say that" I begged, my voice thick with emotions. The words penetrated my chest, so strongly it hurt. Sister Natalie worried about seeing me breaking apart. "Luna, are you okay? Have I said something to upset you?" she panicked.

"No... I just felt emotional, that's all'' I lied again. I wiped my tears and put up a smile which made the muscles of my face hurt. "Anyway, I heard you have made blueberry muffins?" I changed the topic because I could no longer go on without shedding tears.

She chuckled, "Yes. Would you like to have some?"

"I would be honored."

_AVALON PRIVATE HOSPITAL

I sat at the hospital bed, dressed in that wide blue gown, my knotted fingers resting on my lap. I was finally doing it. The talk with Sister Natalie yesterday echoed in the walls of my head, making my heart feel heavier than it already was.

Dr. Emily entered the office, holding a few papers in her hand. "I'll be with you in a while. I just need to fix this" she said, already doing whatever she had to. My legs dangled in the air and the turmoil was growing with each passing second. I should have brought someone with me. But who? No one knew I was pregnant. While I was looking around the room, my phone started to ring.

I peered at my phone screen, finding the word Mom floating on the screen. I gulped, my muscles tensing. Shit. Why was she calling me at the moment? I panicked because if I didn't pick up the call, she would call the people at the dormitory and I didn't want that. I haven't been home for two weeks. The worst thing was that she was video calling me. I took a deep breath and received her call. "Hey, Mom." I tried to hide the surroundings because if she knew I was at the hospital, a series of questions would start drilling in my head. Mom's eyes narrowed and I panicked even more. "Where are you, honey?"

"Library! I am in the library, Mom" I made an excuse. I pretended to speak in a hushed tone so she would believe my words. It didn't work.

"Nonsense! Why do you look so tense? Luna, are you alright?"

"Yes, Mom. I am fine. How's Dad?" "Oh, he is all well. Now tell me- why are you zooming the camera so much?" she frowned.

I was about to say something when Dr. Emily chimed in, unaware of the fact that my Mom had no idea about the abortion. "Alright, Miss Luna Spencer. We can start with the abortion procedure."

"What? Abortion?" Mom's horrified shriek made me drop the phone on my lap, my heart beating hard. Double shit. This wasn't supposed to come out this way. "Luna, what is going on?"

"I gotta go, Mom! Talk to you later!" I ended the call in a hurry and took a moment to reciprocate what just happened.

"Are you ready, Miss Luna?" Dr. Emily asked, a bit uncertain. I nodded, shoving the thoughts of my Mom at the corner. I would tell her afterward.

"Please, come this way" she asserted. Oh God, I was really doing it. Once the abortion is done, all my worries would wash away. Everything would be back to normal. Hell, normal wasn't the word