Chapter 6 Convoluted Feelings

Rayne

Reed's room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of his bedside lamp. The bed smelled like him-warm, familiar, safe. His head rested on my chest, his long, luscious hair spilling over my bare skin like silk. One of his arms was draped over me, holding me close as if I might disappear if he let go.

"You know, Amber's been acting so weird lately," Reed said suddenly, his voice cutting through the silence.

I hummed absently in response, running my fingers through his hair. The motion was automatic, a routine I'd done a hundred times before, but my mind was far away.

"She didn't even wait for me after school today," he continued, his tone laced with curiosity. "She's been distant, like she's trying to avoid me or something. Don't you think that's strange?"

Another hum. My hand moved through his hair again, but I wasn't really listening. My thoughts were consumed by something else-someone else.

Amber.

It had been two weeks since that night. Two weeks since I'd marked her, since I'd lost control and ruined everything. For two weeks, I'd been trying to forget about that night with Amber. Trying and failing.

I'd blocked the bond on my end the morning after it happened. Slamming the tether shut so hard it was like I was trying to sever it completely. I didn't want to feel her. I didn't want to hear her voice in my head or sense her emotions leaking through the bond. I thought that if I closed her out, I could move on.

But the bond didn't work that way.

Even with it blocked, I still felt her. A faint hum in the back of my mind, a constant reminder that she existed, that she was there, tethered to me in a way I couldn't escape.

No amount of distance or mental walls could erase the reality of it-I had marked her. We were bonded now, and nothing could undo that. No amount of pretending could erase her presence or change the fact that my body craved her, no matter how much I hated it.

I wanted to hate her.

Hell, I needed to hate her.

I wanted to hate her fiery red hair, the way it made her stand out like a flame in the dark. I wanted to despise her freckles, scattered across her pale skin as if the moon goddess herself had painted them there. I wanted to hate those cerulean eyes that always looked too damn vulnerable, too damn innocent.

And that scent-fucking honeysuckle. Sweet, overpowering, intoxicating. It clung to my skin, my clothes, my memory, no matter how hard I tried to scrub it away.

But the worst part was the sound of her moans.

Dear goddess...

I groaned internally, shifting on the bed as the memory of that night clawed its way to the surface again.

I hadn't remembered much the morning after, my mind hazy and blank with only the vaguest recollections of what had happened. But for the past two weeks, flashes of that night had started creeping in, hitting me out of nowhere, like some cruel joke the moon goddess decided to play on me.

Amber's moans were the first thing I always remembered-soft, desperate, and utterly intoxicating. The sound echoed in my head, refusing to leave no matter how hard I tried to push it away. I could see her lips, parted and trembling, the way they looked when she was lost in ecstasy as I moved inside her.

Her body... fuck. The way it writhed beneath me, her skin flushed, her back arching as she gasped and clung to me like I was the only thing keeping her grounded. Her arms had wrapped around me so tightly, as if I were her salvation, like she needed me just as much as I needed to claim her.

And then there was the way she whimpered when I knotted her and sunk my fangs into her mating gland.

Goddess, that sound.

I could still feel it-the way she clenched around me, her body greedy and desperate, taking in every drop of my seed like it was what she'd been made for. Like her purpose, her entire existence was to submit to me and carry my pups.

"Fucking gods," I muttered under my breath, dragging a hand over my face.

The image was so vivid, so visceral, that my body responded immediately. Heat coiled low in my stomach, spreading through me like fire, and no matter how hard I tried to will it away, my traitorous dick hardened in my pants, straining painfully against the fabric.

Like right now. I'd lost count how many times I'd gotten hard to the thought of her only this past week.

My pants were uncomfortably tight, and I cursed under my breath.

'Pathetic,' Eden, my wolf, sneered. 'Look at you. You can't even sit here without thinking about her. She's ours, Rayne. Stop trying to deny it.'

The words hit harder than I wanted to admit. I hated him for saying it, hated the bond for making it true. No matter how much I tried to fight it, my body-my instincts-refused to let me forget.

I shifted uncomfortably, my frustration bubbling over as I cursed aloud. "Fuck."

Reed stirred against me, his head lifting from my chest as he frowned. "Rayne? What's wrong?" he asked softly, his voice laced with concern.

I froze, hoping he wouldn't notice, but his gaze drifted lower, and the second his eyes landed on the obvious tent in my pants, his expression shifted.

A grin spread across his face, wide and teasing, and he tilted his head. "Well, well," he said, amusement dripping from his tone. "I was starting to think you didn't find me attractive anymore."

"Reed, don't-"

"For the past two weeks, you've been distant," he continued, cutting me off with a laugh. "You haven't been in the mood, but now..." He gestured toward the unmistakable bulge in my pants, his grin widening. "Looks like you're finally back to normal, babe."

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, trying to will the heat in my body to fade. But my wolf growled low in my mind, a warning I couldn't ignore.

'This isn't right,' Eden snarled. 'She's your mate, not him. Stop this. Now.'

Reed didn't give me a chance to respond. He moved quickly, shifting to straddle my lap, his hands already reaching for my belt. "I've missed this," he murmured, his voice soft and sultry. "Can't wait for you to pound me into the bed."

Eden's growl turned into a roar, his voice thundering in my mind.

'Stop him, Rayne. You know what will happen if you go through with this. She'll feel it. She'll suffer because of you.'

I froze, my breath catching as Eden's words sank in. I didn't need him to remind me. I already knew. If I gave in now, Amber would be the one to pay the price.

"She's our mate," Eden growled. "And you've shut her out for two weeks. You haven't spoken to her, haven't checked on her. She's hurting because of you, and this is how you repay her?"

Guilt twisted in my chest, sharp and suffocating. Eden was right. Amber hadn't asked for this bond. She hadn't asked to be marked, to be tied to me for life. I had done that to her-marked her in her most vulnerable state.

Reed had already undone my belt, his fingers moving to unzip my pants. I grabbed his wrists, stopping him mid-motion.

"Reed, wait," I said, my voice strained.

He blinked at me, confusion flickering in his brown eyes. "What's wrong?"

Eden's voice was harsh, relentless and filled with disgust. 'You're bonded, Rayne. Amber is our mate. How can you let someone else touch you? You should be ashamed. You've already shut her out for two weeks, and now this?

"I..." I swallowed hard, my grip tightening slightly on Reed's wrists. My wolf's words struck again, the guilt twisting in my chest like a knife. I couldn't deny his words. Amber was the victim in all this, not me.

"I... I can't," I muttered, loosening my grip but keeping his hands away.

"Rayne?" Reed's voice was softer now, laced with concern. "Are you okay?"

I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze. "I just... I can't," I said finally, pulling his hands away from me.

Reed frowned, his expression falling. "Why not? You're hard," he said, his tone almost accusing. "You obviously want this."

"It's not that," I said quickly. "I'm just... tired."

He looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to gauge whether or not I was telling the truth. "Tired?" he repeated, his voice tinged with disappointment.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, avoiding his gaze.

Reed sighed, leaning back slightly. The disappointment in his eyes was almost unbearable. "Fine," he said softly, though his tone was reluctant. "But if you really don't want us to fuck..." He glanced down, a sly smile tugging at his lips. "Then at least let me suck you off, I can't leave you with that massive boner."