Chapter 3 3. Feel Not Like You

"It wasn't me, Dean's friend who was with him last night, maybe it was Dipta." Roland guessed soothingly.

Deg.

She clearly heard that the name her husband mentioned was Roland and not Dipta, but why?'

"Linar, I'm sorry I have to continue working. It's lunch time soon, I'll go first."

Linar gave a small nod as a weight settled on her chest and mind. Linar shook her head softly and stared ahead, gasping as she realized she was standing alone in the wrong place.

Luckily the lift opened and she quickly got in saving herself from any questioning or annoyed looks for standing in the middle of the street.

****

Linar nodded as she was let in by Nuga, Dean's work assistant.

"Thank you Nuga."

Linar looked deeply at Dean who greeted her at the door. "Linar, you're here, don't you usually text me if you want to come? Ah about last night, I'm sorry that I didn't come home last night and was late in replying to your message."

Dean, who did not get an answer, asked again, "What did you bring up?"

Deg... deg.. deg.

Linar looked up to gaze into the depths of Dean's eyes, staring deeply with uncertain feelings.

"Lin?"

Linar looked down and shook her head lightly.

"Why are you still asking, didn't I already text you, Dean?" she said softly.

Dean folded his lips knowing something was wrong.

"And, you seem surprised to see me visiting you this morning after leaving me at your grandfather's house, you know what? I was cold last night waiting for you and the next morning I was confused answering your brother's questions about your whereabouts which I didn't know, where my husband last night?" Linar complained.

Dean flattened his face in disgust at the situation Linar had created.

"I told you, last night I had to meet a work relation that Roland was going to introduce me to. And we lost track of time, I was too tired from driving so I decided to stay at Roland's place." Dean said as he turned towards the small sofa set in the center of the room.

Linar's hands clasped together for strength, her chest was hurting more and more as if it was hit by an invisible hand. Who was lying, but Roland's response was too natural.

Linar took a breath and exhaled softly, "What is it again, Linar?"

Linar looked up "Strange," Linar muttered clearly.

"It's strange, this morning I sent a text asking for your whereabouts and you replied too. The contents of the text are at Roland's house."

"But I also offered to bring a change of clothes for work and lunch to your office and you replied 'ok, just came' seemingly coldly." Linar said hoarsely observing Dean's response.

"Ah yes, you're right, it was me. I forgot, sorry... I'm done being angry," Dean said sincerely.

Linar hated being too sensitive, because her sensitivity made her think of things painfully. So Linar could only smile wryly,

"I don't understand, are you sure it was you who replied to the text this morning, Dean?" Linar asked skeptically.

"I just forgot Linar, today I was late for work because I woke up late and was immediately faced with a lot of work, sorry ok!" pleaded Dean embracing Linar's body regardless of having walked backwards, he hugged her tightly kissing the top of her head traveling to her forehead and down to Linar's lips which did not reply.

Linar's lips twitched as she heard Dean's heart beating hard, like... uncomfortable feeling?

Linar returned the hug, resting his head on Dean's chest inhaling the scent emanating from Dean's body that he always liked. But the scent was too strong, a sign that Dean had sprayed too much fragrance.

Shit!

Linar stretched her arms first and looked up, she smiled then asked.

"So how did you meet the relation that Roland introduced you to yesterday, tell me about it?" Linar lured with a faint smile.

Dean looked at her deeply as if he was sorting something out, "Well, he's a contractor who has a lot of experience. We talked a lot until we lost track of time and I was too tired to drive so Roland asked me to stay at his place so, yeah I agreed."

Linar nodded twice, seating herself right beside Dean. Shortly after Dean got up and walked to his desk, Dean connected the phone at his desk ordering a glass of iced matcha latte from Nuga, the work assistant for his wife.

"It's okay Dean, I can wait, you don't need to urge Nuga who is also busy."

Dean turned his head half-heartedly and finished his call with Nuga.

"Come here!" Invite Linar

Knock... knock

"Come in!"

"Excuse me sir, here's the matcha latte"

"Thank you Nuga, oh! you're wearing a calm coloured shirt, usually dark colors."

Nuga smiled as he touched his shirt "Yes Lin, yesterday I saw a worker in the office downstairs, his skin was dark like mine and he was wearing a calm coloured shirt but it matched and I tried it on, it's good, right?"

"Yes, the color of your shirt matches the one you're wearing, it's awesome!" Linar smiled back in praise and Dean spontaneously looked at Nuga flatly.

"That's it, get on with your work, Nuga!" Dean ordered coldly.

Linar turned her head to observe Dean's real face because Dean had been moving awkwardly and even turned his back more like he was uncomfortable or something he was covering up, just blaming her over-sensitive heart.

"Who you guys were chatting with?"

Dean blinked his eyes once, "Just the three of us, yesterday was just a casual meeting between men while chatting about job prospects, client proposals that we could work with in the future" Dean said, shrugging his shoulders and throwing his neatly trimmed hair back.

Linar looked deeply at Dean with disappointment, preferring to remain silent.

Linar was sure that Dean had caught the change in her that was not concealed. Linar let Dean, who was sitting next to him, drink her matcha latte first, but when the dean's hand, which wanted to bring the matcha Latte to his lips, was cut off by Linar, the contents spilled slightly dirty into his clothes.

"What's wrong, Lin?" called Dean who was rudely brushed off by Linar, they were both surprised to see half the contents of the matcha latte that was slightly spilled by Linar.

"I don't want to drink that" Linar squealed with a fake smile.

"I'm going home" Linar exclaimed, getting up and turning around violently but not yet reaching the door, her arm was held by Dean.

"What's wrong with you?!" snapped Dean in frustration.

"It's okay, I don't want to bother you any longer, I mean you have to continue working right?" Linar exclaimed, swatting Dean's hand away gently but firmly.

"And make sure you come back to our house tonight." Linar said, ignoring Dean's call.

****

"Hello?"

"..."

"Ah I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you that I can't attend the baking course today, I have something to do. I'm sorry, Ineu." Linar concluded as she turned her attention to the window of the moving car.

She remembered Listya's words that she had seen Dean walking in the Mall accompanied by a man and a woman, but the woman seemed close to Dean and when she confirmed it to her husband he confirmed but did not agree to be said to be close, they were friends in reasonable portions, she argued.

Linar opened her social media and searched for her husband's account, she flicked the screen up and down looking for any digital footprints that might be a clue as to what it was.

What is clear is that today her mood is down and she doesn't need to be friendly with anyone, she is having trouble smiling so she needs to calm herself down after all, in the past few weeks Linar has been diligently exercising and taking care of herself at the salon to please herself and her husband.

****

Linar looked at herself in front of the mirror that only partially reflected her face and body, she pinched her cheeks that were still chubby, turning to her upper arms that had not shrunk.

"Hufth.." She sighed.

Linar turned on the water tap and washed her face trying to get rid of the negative thoughts lodged in her mind hoping to be clean with that water. Linar came out of the bathroom and stopped stepping when she saw Dean who had just entered. They stared at each other waiting.

"Hi, you just finished shower?" greeted Dean approaching Linar.

Linar nodded and walked to the clothes room, she sorted out the nightgown she was going to wear.

"Why are you looking in that closet?" Dean's interruption made her turn her head, only to realize Dean was staring at her leaning against the wall near the door.

"Just wanted to."

"What's wrong Linar?!"