Chapter 1 A Decision

I stared at my diploma in my hands, almost still unable to believe that it was real. I pinched myself, flinched at the pain, and still couldn’t believe that I wasn’t dreaming.

I had done it, graduated with my pre-law degree. This meant that now, I finally had everything I needed to apply to Law School.

Almost unbidden, I glanced at a picture of my mother on the nightstand.

“You would have loved the ceremony mom,” I murmured to her, placing the diploma down in front of her. “I missed you there.”

My older sister Rebecca and my brother Lucas had come for the ceremony. But Thomas and Caroline had been in the middle of their own court cases and couldn’t make it.

My father hadn’t even acknowledged when I’d told him about it.

But that was Victor Kinkaid. He wasn’t about to commit to anything that he had no solid proof of. I just want to make my own path and not depend on him. Soon, I will do it. And just wait for me to get there, then I will build my own career, my own reputation. Maybe even my own happy life, with a man that loves me for who I am, and not because I am the daughter of Victor Kinkaid.

I glanced at my phone.

‘Congrats, kiddo,’ Caroline had texted me earlier today, when I sent Rebecca the picture of me smiling at the graduation ceremony. Caroline was only three years older than me, but she liked to emphasize that it still made her my big sister.

Thomas hadn’t messaged yet, but he was in a different time zone, and I knew he would text when he woke up.

I sighed. Nothing from my father. But I hadn’t expected anything.

Still, I would be expected to go to him, to show up before him. To show him what I had done. Even though, technically, he was due none of the praise.

I had gotten a full scholarship for this degree. The University had paid for everything. The only claim my father could have was that he had let me live here during the school breaks.

Still, there would be hell to pay if I didn’t go to him now and show him what I had accomplished.

Sighing, I got up off my bed and made my way to his office. I knocked on the door and entered.

“Next time, wait until I answer before coming in,” my father told me immediately.

He’s told me this before, and I’d done what he asked. I’d waited for fifteen minutes before leaving and then being chastised for disappearing. There was no way to win. At least this way I made sure he’d acknowledge me.

“It was my graduation ceremony today,” I told my dad, placing my diploma down on his desk.

He didn’t so much as glance at it.

But he looked up from his laptop and turned to me.

“Good,” he grunted, and that was already more praise than I ever thought I would get. “I can set up an interview for you at the company. We have a research position open. You can meet with the head of Human Resources and we can take it from there. You’ll need to submit your resume on the company website.”

I hadn’t even gotten one full sentence out yet, and he was already telling me what to do. I gritted my teeth but made sure that I was calm before I uttered my next words.

“Thank you,” I told him civilly, though all he had really done was direct me to his company’s website. “But I was planning on applying to Law School for their second intake. I just wanted to see my results before I applied anywhere.”

Application fees were expensive. And I wasn’t about to ask my father for money. He would probably direct me to the closest bank to take out a loan.

He ran an extremely successful law firm. But he had never made it a secret that it was HIS company he ran. And everything that he had earned, belonged entirely to him.

Anything he gave us came with a loan agreement, and had to be repaid.

A part of me was only sure that he paid for everything until we turned eighteen just because the law required it of him and he didn’t want to go to jail for negligence.

I hadn’t always had such a clear vision of who my father was, and it had taken a long time for me to truly see his true colors. But eventually, I realized the truth. My life had only gotten better once I had acknowledged it, at least inside my head.

“You know,” my father said again, sighing. “It’s important to be practical about life choices. And I’m only trying to help you see what is best for you.”

I felt anger rising in me. But I tried to calm it. I couldn’t get irrational or emotional with him. I couldn’t show the slightest hint of emotion or he would turn it against me. He would only use it as more proof that I had no idea what I was doing with my life and that I should take his advice.

“Maybe you’re right,” I told him coolly. “A person should be practical about all things, especially when they give advice to others about things they know nothing about.”

My father regarded me simply, nodding his head. He was not a stupid man. For everything that my father was, he was one of the most brilliant lawyers of his time, there was no doubt about that. He had won every award that was possible, been nominated for every single thing that he could be nominated for in his field.

But while he was an expert in the law, he knew nothing about me.

If I could count with one hand the amount of times that my father had actually had a conversation with me rather than just ordering me, it would be a lot.

I didn’t feel bad for the way I was handling this. He had done this to himself. And he had done it with all of us. I was the youngest of five, and while we were all lawyers, none of the others spoke to my father at all.

I was beginning to see the sense of it.

“Listen, if you want a job, this is what I have,” my father said again, scooping some papers up on his desk. “It’s a research position that I think you would be great for. Its not much work, mostly grunt type stuff, running errands for others, it will be a good use of your talents. Don’t make me repeat this again.”

To be fair, it was the kind of position that I was looking for when I applied to Law School. I wanted the experience and it would look great on my resume. But if I worked in that position at his company, it would be a dead end. He would control every aspect of my life, and he would make sure that I never had the chance to move any further.

He was my father. But I also had to be realistic about who he really was.

“No, thank you,” I told him firmly. “That isn’t what I’m planning for my life. I am going to apply to Law School.”

My father leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his stomach.

“Alright, Rose,” he said simply. “I’ve tried to say this nicely. But you’re just refusing to hear me out. You’re not smart enough to complete the course, to pass the exams of the school let alone the baby bar and the bar exams.”

I swallowed hard, I wouldn’t let my anger get the better of me, not here and not now.

“Yes,” I told him calmly. “My undergrad was pre-law. I know the bar exams are very difficult.”

Thankfully, it wasn’t like it was something that I only got one shot at. I wanted to do it in one go, but if I had to retake it, then I would take it as many times as I needed to. I would become a lawyer, whatever it took.

“And more than that,” my father pressed on, obvious irritation in his voice now. I don’t think he expected me to be that calm. “You definitely don’t have what it takes to litigate or even go into the academics of law. You will be wasting your time and my money and resources, and I just cannot allow it.”

Now that part just wasn’t true. I hadn’t needed him for the tuition or anything for my degree. He hadn’t offered and I hadn’t asked. He hadn’t given any help to my brothers or sisters, either. Not for tuition and not for textbooks.

So he had no justification to state that I would be taking his money for in order to attend Law School. I hadn’t asked him for a cent, and I was never going to. And I wouldn’t allow the assumption to stand.

“Actually,” I cut him off right there, not allowing him to say one word more. “I don’t need any money nor resources from you. Just like I hadn’t needed anything for my degree in the first place.”

My tone had been a little short there, I wasn’t going to deny it. But I felt that I was justified in that moment. He had made assumptions about me that just wasn’t my character.

My father pursed his lips. For a lawyer, he had a strange inclination not to want to listen to proof of any kind. It was also strange that he would just forget precedent like that.

I saw a twitch on my father’s face, a telltale sign that he was getting angrier and losing the ability to suppress it.

“Even if you don’t need my money for the tuition,” he spoke through clenched teeth now. “You are still living in my house, and therefore will be a cost to me. And while you are living here, while you are my daughter, you will follow my orders.”

I took a deep breath. Strangely enough, I didn’t feel angry. I felt vindicated. I had always known that this was how he truly felt about me. But I never had the proof to back it up. But now that he had said it, clear as day, I felt the chains that had been holding me downfall off of me.

“But there is more than that,” my father said, and I allowed him to continue speaking. “I just don’t think you have the ability to be a professional in this field. And I well and truly think that the best way for you to move on with your life would be to find a good husband for yourself. Someone that can support you financially. You’re very pretty, and at the company you will probably meet someone and no longer be my responsibility, hopefully.”

With his long speech meant to destroy me, Victor Kinkaid had just handed me my freedom.

I stood up from my chair gracefully.

“As I said, father,” I told him coolly. “I will be applying to Law School. And since you have made it perfectly clear that I cannot live here and be your daughter, I will be gone by the end of the evening.”

I didn’t wait for him to say anything else. I turned and left his office and headed straight to my room. My hands were shaking, nervously rubbing them together.

No matter what I did, I was never going to be enough for him. He just wanted me married. And not married for love, for good reasons, no. He wanted me married to someone who could become an asset for him while trading me for my looks.

Never. No matter what I ended up doing with my life, it wasn’t going to be that. There was no way that I was taking the chance that I would end up with someone just like him. I had no idea how my mother had survived long enough to bear him five children, but this wasn’t going to be me.

Not ever.

And I was done thinking about any of that any longer.

I was going to focus on myself, and that was all. Me and my future.

And I couldn’t do that here. Even though this was New York, even though this was the haven for lawyers and law students alike, I couldn’t be here.

This was his territory, and I had to leave.

And I knew exactly where I was going to go.