I'm into You

“I DON’T disagree with you, Mother, Clarissa is a very beautiful woman. But I’m not going to date her.”

Zev didn’t bother trying to hide the frustration in his voice. Honestly, how many times would he have to tell his family that he wasn’t interested in their setups? He leaned his large frame against the back of the leather couch and rubbed his palms over his eyes. He was exhausted. Sleep rarely came to him, and when it did, he remained partially alert, terrified of losing his humanity while he was unconscious. He was barely hanging on as it was; this intervention was the last thing he needed.

His Grandma Mae’s voice broke into his thoughts. Her frustration with Zev had reached such a high level that she was willing to question him, her Alpha, a practice unheard of in her generation. Then again, maybe it wasn’t just her frustration; maybe Zev’s attempts to bring their pack into modern times had been more successful than he’d realized.

“I don’t understand this, Zev. You’re thirty years old. Your grandfather and I had already been married for close to a decade by the time we were your age. It’s not natural or healthy for one of our kind to remain alone.”

As if that was his cue, his Grandpa Walter jumped into the conversation. Had they drawn numbers in advance so to determine the order in which to beat up on him?

“I realize you feel we’re intruding on your privacy, son, but any shifter with eyes can see the problems you’re having, and the reason is plain. Shifters are deeply sexual beings, but the….” Walter paused and swallowed hard, as if it pained him to continue the sentence, “… the women you’ve been using to meet your physical needs are half-souls. They aren’t enough to bind your humanity, especially for this many years. You’re a strong man and a strong wolf, Zev, the strongest I’ve seen in my lifetime. But no shifter can outrun his nature, not that I understand why you insist on trying. Whatever the reason, if you don’t tie with a shifter soon, your human side will be lost.”

Did his family members actually think they were telling him something he didn’t already know? Their only error was underestimating his strength and determination. Though the idea of meeting his sexual needs with humans—or half-souls, as shifters called them—repulsed his family, they were certain he’d been making a practice of it. How else could he have lived with both his human and wolf sides intact for three decades? They couldn’t fathom a shifter living that long without sharing at least some physical bond.

Well, they were wrong. Zev hadn’t tied with anyone—human or shifter—in his life, whether they believed him or not. But for how much longer? Returning from the change was becoming more and more difficult, with his wolf clinging to its form, not wanting his human to take over. And the longer the wolf remained in control of their body, the less likely it was that the human would be able to find his way to the surface again.

“There’s no point in denying it, Zev. We know what you’ve been doing, and we don’t judge you.”

Zev’s father was sincere. Gregory Hassick was still uncomfortable with the idea of a shifter engaging in sexual acts with humans, but over the years, he’d learned to live with his son’s oddities without looking down on him. After all, since Zev had begun his Alpha training, the Etzgadol pack had grown steadily, even more so since the young wolf had taken over as pack Alpha. And Zev had had equal success with the family business, which now earned an annual gross income that was more than double what it had been before Zev had taken over.

“Move your hands away from your face and look at us, Zev. This is serious. You cannot continue to choose this lifestyle. Your body cannot survive it.” Gregory Hassick’s voice was tight with worry.

Zev dropped his hands to his sides and opened his amber eyes, knowing they were bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles. When was the last time he’d truly rested? He combed his fingers through his straight brown hair and resisted the urge to yell. His family loved him. He knew that. And this conversation, no matter how misplaced, was a reflection of that love.

“How many times do I have to explain this, Father? I’m not choosing this. I hate being alone. I haven’t tied with any human women. I want to claim my mate more than anything.”

Lori scooted closer to him on the couch and took his hand. The new egalitarian pack structure Zev had put in place was helped tremendously by his strong sister. She led the pack females by example, and they all admired her. But having power within the pack didn’t change Lori’s nature, her need to protect the family, to keep it strong. She couldn’t go against their elders, which was why Lori had agreed to take part in this little family gathering. But neither would she speak against her brother, so she remained silent and tried to lend Zev support with her actions.

“Everyone wants a true mate, Zev,” Gregory told him. “But very few shifters get them. The rest of us fall in love and feel completely satisfied with our chosen partners. Your mother and I have been happy together for well over half of our lives without the mating bond. Please, it’s time to let go of childish fantasies and accept your fate. You haven’t been blessed with a true mate, but you can still live a full life. Just tie with Clarissa or one of the other females in the pack. What can it hurt to try? Best-case scenario, you find this true mate you insist exists. Worst-case scenario, you have more regular companionship and a proper tie.”

Zev couldn’t hold back the growl in his chest. He was tired of their constant refusals to acknowledge the existence of his true mate and their never-ending setup offers. His parents had long ago stopped pretending the offers were about dinner and a movie. Were his parents honest with these women about the purely sexual role they were expected to play in his life? Probably not. Nobody outside of his family knew the truth. Hell, even those within his family denied it, despite the fact that he’d been clear with them for years.

“Clarissa isn’t my true mate. And I’m not interested in her companionship.” He spat out his response, his tone expressing disgust with the very idea of their brand of companionship.

“Why not, Zev? Are her breasts too small? Is her hiney too big? Just talk to us, and we can help you. If the females in our pack aren’t satisfactory, we’ll find a female in a neighboring pack for you so you can make a physical tie.”

He winced. Now his other grandmother was engaged in the game. Had any other man ever faced an eighty-year-old woman offering him his choice of tits and ass? Dear God, please make it stop.

“I’m gay, Granny Betty. Any breasts at all are a deal-killer, and I haven’t ever paid attention to Clarissa’s, um, hiney.”

The diminutive gray-haired woman threw her hands in the air.

“Our kind can’t be gay, Zev. It just doesn’t work that way. A male shifter needs to tie with a female shifter in order to bind his humanity, and the female needs to accept that tie from the male in order to release her wolf. This is basic preschool information, dear.”

Zev dropped his head on top of his large hands, which were crossed over his knees. Yeah, he was very familiar with their kind’s version of the birds and the bees.